Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
Is it permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband (for sexual intercourse)?
It isn`t permissible for her to do so unless for a sound reason.
How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?
Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.
Is it permissible to offer an Udhiyah on behalf of another without their permission?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is not permissible for a person to offer a sacrifice (Udhiyah) on behalf of someone else without their permission, except in the following cases: if he sacrifices on behalf of the members of his household, if a guardian sacrifices from his own wealth on behalf of his ward, or if the Imam (ruler) sacrifices from the public treasury (Bayt al-Mal) on behalf of the Muslims. And Allah the Almighty knows best.