Is bleeding that lasts for nine or ten days considered menstruation (Hayd)?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
If the duration of the bleeding does not exceed fifteen days, then all of it is considered menstruation (Hayd), even if the regular cycle ('Adah) has changed. And Allah the Exalted knows best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
What is the ruling on preparing food for someone who is not fasting in Ramadan?
It is forbidden to prepare food for someone who is breaking their fast without a valid excuse in Ramadan.
Doing so would be assisting in sin, and assisting in sin is itself a sin.
Allah says {what means}: "but help ye not one another in sin and rancour" [Al-Mai`dah/2]
How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?
Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.