How do I deal with whispers (waswasa) in ablution and purification?
Whispers in ablution are from Satan, and the Muslim should not pay attention to them. He is not required to re-perform ablution or repeat washing a limb because of waswasa. He should always base his purification on its being valid. It is recommended for him to frequently say "La ilaha illa Allah" (There is no god but Allah), because Satan recoils when Allah is mentioned. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for a woman who has become pure before the end of forty days of confinement to perform different acts of worship? and is it lawful for her husband to have sex with her?
Once postpartum bleeding ceases and she is certain that it won`t happen again, she becomes pure, and so she should perform Ghusl (ritual bath), pray, and fast. She can also have sex with her husband even before the end of (40) days because the minimum of postpartum bleeding is a moment, and the maximum is (60) days. However, the postpartum bleeding for the majority of women is (40) days, but this does not apply to rest of them.
A pious man proposed to me and my father was hesitant in this regard because he is black, am I sinful if I accepted his proposal?
If the suitor is pious, color isn`t a drawback. However, try talking to your father kindly, so that he approves of your marriage with contentment, and that is better for you.
Is it permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband (for sexual intercourse)?
It isn`t permissible for her to do so unless for a sound reason.