Is it permissible for a financially capable woman to pay the Zakat to her sons or one of them?
It is permissible for a mother to give her children from zakat if they are eligible to receive it, even though she is obligated to provide for them. This is based on the saying of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) regarding Zainab, the wife of Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with them): "Your husband and your children are more deserving of your charity" [Al-Bukhari]. And Allah Knows Best.
What is meant by "Recalcitrance of the woman toward her husband doesn`t render her divorced"?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It means that her being recalcitrant (Nashiz) doesn`t make her divorced. Rather, she has to be divorced by husband or Sharia judge to be considered divorced. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
Is it permissible for the mother to offer an Aqeeqah (the sheep slaughtered on the seventh day from the child`s birth)for her son?
Aqeeqah is due on the one obliged to provide for the newborn, and it is permissible for the grandfather, or the mother to offer the Aqeeqah.
I`m a mother of three orphans. Is it permissible for me to spend on myself from their salary, such as buying a Jilbab*?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is permissible to take a reasonable amount that is equal to your services to them. However, it is better that you don`t. The evidence on this is that Almighty Allah Says (What means): "Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is God in taking account." [An-Nisa`/6]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* A full-length outer garment, traditionally covering the head and hands, worn in public by some Muslim women.