I missed fasting 30 days of the obligatory fast within the last 6 years and 20 days. How do I fast? And what should I do?
Missed fasting days must be made up, and it is permissible to make them up on non-consecutive days, as continuity is not required for making up missed fasts. Additionally, expiation (Fidya) must be given: feeding one needy person for each day if the makeup is delayed for one year. If the delay extends to two years, Fidya must be given to two needy people per day, and so on. And Allah Knows Best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
What is the torment of the grave?
We seek refuge in Allah from the torment of the grave. The important point is that the cause of the torment of the grave is disbelief or committing sins without repentance. It affects the soul, and the body is impacted by it, even if we do not see it. And Allah Knows Best.
Should a person feel pleased, or have a virtuous vision after offering Istikhara (guidance prayer) in order to do what he/she had offered it for?
The result of the Istikhaarah is not necessarily that a person sees something (in his dream), or feels pleased, but the most important result of the Istikhaarah is whether a person is enabled to do a given matter or not.