Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?

Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.

Is wearing a cap permissible for boys, or girls?

All Perfect Praise is due to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds.

In principle, anything is permissible sol long as there is no Sharia evidence prohibiting it, thus wearing the cap by boys is permissible as long as it isn`t done in imitation of the disbelievers. Moreover, a Muslim woman should avoid all that which attracts the attention of men because whatever leads to the forbidden is forbidden. And Allah Knows Best.

Is it permissible for a mother to stop her daughter from marrying a respectable, God-fearing young man because he isn't college/university graduate?

It is impermissible to deny a woman her right in getting married except for a lawful reason, and problems can be solved through dialogue. However, she can file a suit in order for the judge to have a say in that regard.

I`m a pious Muslim woman, but my husband isn`t, what should I do?

You should exercise patience, make supplication that Allah guides him to the straight path, and keep advising him kindly.