What is permissible for the husband to do as far as having sex with his wife is concerned?

The couple are free to enjoy each other sexually provided that they don`t do it during menses. It is also forbidden for the husband to enjoy the wife from her anus.

Do certain vaginal discharges and incontinence of urine nullify ablution, and should underwear be changed?

A person afflicted with constant impurity due to urinary incontinence and vaginal discharges is obliged to make ablution for every obligatory prayer when its time is due, and after removing Najaasah (impurity), and wearing a clean diaper. He/she is obliged to pray immediately even if the impurity is being released, and he/she is obliged to remake ablution, and the aforementioned for every obligatory prayer.

After I had prayed, I found a drop of menstrual blood and was unsure when that happened; what is the ruling on my prayer and fast?

All praise is due to Allah, peace and blessing be upon the Messenger of Allah.

Your prayer and fast are correct ,and you should not make up for them, and we ask Allah, The Almighty, to duely reward you for these acts of worship. Your menses start once you see blood because the situation remains as such unless there is certainty or predominant conjecture, as per the Fiqh maxim: "Certainty is not removed by doubt". And Allah Knows Best.

I see horrible dreams although I perform the prescribed prayers, what do you make of that?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.

Be mindful of Allah while awake and he will safeguard you from whatever evil you see while asleep. We advise you to make the pre-sleep supplications. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.