Is it incumbent on the fiancée to obey her fiancé?
When the woman settles in her husband`s house, it is incumbent on him to provide for her and it is incumbent on her to obey him. Before that, and if the marriage contract had been concluded, then she is lawfully his wife and thus she should abide by custom in treating him, but if the marriage contract hadn`t been concluded, then she should treat him as a non-Mahram (Marriageable).
What is the ruling of Sharia on woman shaking hands with non-Mahram man?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "It is better to be stabbed in the head than touch a woman to whom one isn`t related." [Transmitted by Al-Tabarani /Al-Mo`jam Al-Kabir, Hadith No.16880]. Accordingly, it is forbidden for men to shake hands with non-Mahram* woman. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* The women/men that you are allowed to marry. It includes all women/men other than mahram (including cousins).
Is it permissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law?
It is impermissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law, and it is also impermissible for a person to have a Khulwa (seclusion) with his sister-in-law.
Is it obligatory for a wife who has been abandoned for many years to observe the waiting period (iddah) after her husband passes away?
If her husband passes away, the wife is required to observe the waiting period (Iddah), even if he had abandoned her, because she is his wife and inherits from him, so she must observe the iddah after his death. And Allah Knows Best.