Generally speaking, I`m dutiful to my mother and opt for obeying her. However, she chose a certain girl to be my future wife, but I`m not pleased with her choice although that girl comes from a good family and enjoys good character. Should I obey my mother or choose another girl that lives up to my expectations?
Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.
One must obey their parents in whatever is in compliance with the teachings of Sharia and within one`s capacity. However, you aren`t to blame for not marrying that girl, but it is better that you tell your mother about that and it is preferable that you perform Istikharah prayer. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
What is the ruling on a woman shaking hands with the brothers of her husband`s father, and not putting on Islamic wear before them?
The aforesaid are strangers to the their brother`s son`s wife, therefore, it is forbidden for her to take off her Islamic wear before them, or to shake hands with them.
When is Istikharah (guidance prayer) Du`a offered, before Tasleem (saying asalamu alikum warahmatu allah wa barakatuh to end the prayer), or after it?
It is offered after Tasleem.
Is it incumbent on the fiancée to obey her fiancé?
When the woman settles in her husband`s house, it is incumbent on him to provide for her and it is incumbent on her to obey him. Before that, and if the marriage contract had been concluded, then she is lawfully his wife and thus she should abide by custom in treating him, but if the marriage contract hadn`t been concluded, then she should treat him as a non-Mahram (Marriageable).