Is it permissible for a woman in her waiting period (Iddah) after her husband's death to leave her house and mix with non-Mahrams?
It is not permissible for a woman in her waiting period (Iddah) after the death of her husband to leave her house except for a necessity, such as for medical treatment, nor is she allowed to mix with non-Mahrams. A woman is not permitted to mix with anyone other than her husband or Mahrams, whether she is in her waiting period or not. However, there is no harm in accepting condolences from those who visit and responding to their inquiries about her well-being. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a woman to conclude her marriage without the approval of her family?
No marriage is permissible without the presence of a guardian and two trust worthy witnesses, and the woman whose family had denied her right in getting married to a God-fearing, financially and physically capable man should go to the court.
How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?
Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.
What is the ruling of Sharia on woman shaking hands with non-Mahram man?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "It is better to be stabbed in the head than touch a woman to whom one isn`t related." [Transmitted by Al-Tabarani /Al-Mo`jam Al-Kabir, Hadith No.16880]. Accordingly, it is forbidden for men to shake hands with non-Mahram* woman. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* The women/men that you are allowed to marry. It includes all women/men other than mahram (including cousins).