Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?

Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.

What is the ruling on a woman shaking hands with the brothers of her husband`s father, and not putting on Islamic wear before them?

The aforesaid are strangers to the their brother`s son`s wife, therefore, it is forbidden for her to take off her Islamic wear before them, or to shake hands with them.

I am a disabled woman who has vaginal discharges and can`t control her urine. Therefore, I combine prayers. Is that permissible?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his family and companions.

According to the Hanbali doctrine, it is permissible for the sick to combine prayers. In your case (Asker), it is better that you delay the noon prayer until a few minutes before the afternoon prayer in order to minimize the time span between the two and perform each alone. In addition, you can do the same with sunset and evening prayers. Finally, we ask Allah to bless you with recovery. And Allah Knows Best.

An Imam stood to offer a fifth Rak`ah in a four-Rak`ah prayer, and he was reminded to sit by those behind him, but he wouldn`t listen. What is the ruling on those who followed his lead knowingly and intentionally?

If the Imam stood to offer a fifth Rak`ah, those praying behind him shouldn`t have approved of that, and the prayer of those who did is considered null and void.