How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?

Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.

Is it permissible for a woman to conclude her marriage without the approval of her family?

No marriage is permissible without the presence of a guardian and two trust worthy witnesses, and the woman whose family had denied her right in getting married to a God-fearing, financially and physically capable man should go to the court.

I am a disabled woman who has vaginal discharges and can`t control her urine. Therefore, I combine prayers. Is that permissible?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his family and companions.

According to the Hanbali doctrine, it is permissible for the sick to combine prayers. In your case (Asker), it is better that you delay the noon prayer until a few minutes before the afternoon prayer in order to minimize the time span between the two and perform each alone. In addition, you can do the same with sunset and evening prayers. Finally, we ask Allah to bless you with recovery. And Allah Knows Best.

Is it permissible to listen to chants praising the Prophet if accompanied by musical instruments?

If singing, or chanting in praise of the Prophet was accompanied by a forbidden musical instrument, then it is forbidden.