Is it permissible for a woman to use a contraceptive without telling her husband although he wants to have as many children as possible and she can`t care for them?
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, may His Blessings and Peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
If the pregnancy is harmful to the woman, it is permissible for her to use a contraceptive; however, this has to be backed by a medical report from a God-fearing doctor. In addition, you had better inform your of what you are doing to avoid dispute. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
What is permissible for the husband to do as far as having sex with his wife is concerned?
The couple are free to enjoy each other sexually provided that they don`t do it during menses. It is also forbidden for the husband to enjoy the wife from her anus.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is the marriage, which lacks a valid legal contract, a guardian, and a court registration, valid?
It is incumbent that a valid marriage contract be concluded in the presence of a guardian and two trustful witnesses, and it should be registered in the court to protect the rights of the wife. Actually, a valid marriage contract is what differentiates between sound marriage and fornication.