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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Who are the blood-relatives with whom kinship ties should be maintained?

Blood-relatives are those from the side of one`s father and mother: grandfathers, grandmothers, uncles, and aunts. And Allah Knows Best.

What is the difference between Tahajjud prayer and night prayer, and do they have a particular Witr prayer other than that of Isha (evening prayer)?

Tahajjud and Qiyam-Al-Lail (night prayer) are two words for the same meaning which is offering voluntary prayer at night after sunset, but before dawn break. However, Tahajjud is offered after waking up; whereas, Qiyam-Al-Lail is permissible before sleeping, or after it. Therefore, every Tahajjud is a Qiyam, but not every Qiyam is a Tahajjud. Moreover, there is no specified Witr for both of them, but Witr after Isha is by itself the Witr of Qiyam, and it is a Sunnah to postpone it until after Qiyam if the worshiper thought that he was most probably going to wake up in order to offer it, but if he wasn`t sure of waking up, then he is at liberty to offer it before going to bed as was reported in the Prophet`s Hadith.

I have been married for five years. My husband has two sons from his first marriage. Nevertheless, I took care of his children, and gave birth to a baby boy who is now three years old. Unfortunately, we keep fighting all the time; sometimes over his two sons and sometimes over his family. If I serve his family members and praise them, he treats me kindly. If I don`t, he turns my life into living hell. What should I do?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.

Spouses should live with each other on a footing of kindness and equity. In your case, constructive dialogue is the best course of action. We advise you to be patient, commit your affair to Allah and ask Him to help you. We also recommend that you seek the help of the people of goodness and make them fix things between you and your husband. If all attempts for reconciliation fail then go to court, but we remind you that a problem, which could be solved with a beautiful word, is no problem at all, so praise family and children and try your best to win their hearts. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

What is the ruling of Sharia when husband kicks the wife out of his house without a lawful excuse? Moreover, in such case, when she stays at her parents's house for several months, is she allowed to claim maintenance through a Sharia court?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It isn`t permissible to kick wife out of house save for a valid reason since Almighty Allah Says (What means): "O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good." [An-Nisa`/19]. In addition, it is the duty of the husband to provide for his wife and children in kindness, and this includes food, garment and residence. Moreover, dialogue and supplication are the best means for solving marital problems; however, the wronged party may resort to court. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.