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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on someone who curses the religion or commits an act of disbelief during the day in Ramadan?

Whoever apostatizes (leaves Islam) while fasting, their fast is invalid. Cursing the religion is an act of apostasy (may Allah protect us from it). Such a person must return to Islam by pronouncing the Shahadah (testimony of faith), seek Allah’s forgiveness, refrain from eating and drinking for the rest of the day, and make up for that day’s fast later.

What is the ruling on a woman who gets her menstrual period while fasting?

If a woman gets her menstrual period while fasting, her fast (of that day) becomes invalid, and she must make up for the missed days after Ramadan. Allah has granted ease to women in this situation, and she will be rewarded for not fasting because she is following Allah’s command.

What is the ruling on eating from one`s Udhiyah?

In the Name of Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
The Udhiyah (sacrificial offering) is divided into two categories: the vowed sacrifice (Al-Mandhurah) and the voluntary sacrifice (Al-Tatawwu').
 
First: The Vowed Sacrifice (Al-Mandhurah)
This refers to a sacrifice that has become strictly obligatory due to a formal vow (Nadr). It is completely impermissible for the person offering it, or any members of their family whom they are financially obligated to maintain, to eat any of its meat or fat. Furthermore, it is unlawful for them to personally benefit from its hide, wool, or any other part of it. If they happen to eat any portion of it, the offerer is legally obligated to give an equivalent amount of meat or its monetary value to charity. (As noted in Tuhfat al-Muhtaj by Imam Ibn Hajar al-Haytami,Vol. 9/P.364).
 
Second: The Voluntary Sacrifice (Al-Tatawwu’)
This is a recommended, non-obligatory sacrifice. The person offering it is fully permitted to eat from its meat, distribute portions as charity to the poor, and give pieces as gifts to those who are well-off. However, it remains a mandatory requirement to donate at least a minor portion of it to charity; this should not be less than approximately half a kilogram of raw, uncooked meat. And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.

My father has debts and asked me to repay them years ago, and I promised him I would do so upon his death — is it permissible for me to go back on my promise given that I am unable to repay them, especially since he refuses to contribute to repayment on the grounds that the debt has become my responsibility by virtue of my promise?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
The established principle is that a father's debt is to be repaid from his own wealth, if he possesses sufficient means. As for the promise made by the son to repay it on his father's behalf, fulfilling such a promise is strongly recommended, and breaking it is considerably disliked. Shaykh al-Islām Imām al-Nawawī, may Allah have mercy upon him, states: "Fulfilling a promise is emphatically recommended, and breaking it is severely disliked. The evidences for this from the Qurʾān and the Sunnah are well known." [Rawḍat al-Ṭālibīn,Vol. 2/P.278] Shaykh al-Islām Imām Zakariyyā al-Anṣārī, may Allah have mercy upon him, further states: "The reason fulfilling a promise is not obligatory and breaking it is not forbidden is that a promise is in the nature of a gift, and a gift does not become binding except upon receipt." [Asnā al-Maṭālib fī Sharḥ Rawḍ al-Ṭālib,Vol. 2/P.487]
Given that the son does not possess the financial means to fulfil his promise to his father, breaking this promise falls beyond his capacity — and Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear. Since the father himself possesses sufficient wealth to settle his own debt, repayment must be made from his own funds. Should he pass away before doing so, the debt is to be settled from his estate. And Allah the Almighty knows best.