Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible to give my zakat to my grandson who is studying at university, while I am living abroad and my money is in my home country? Also, is it permissible to assign my father the responsibility of distributing the zakat to the people in my home country?

 

It is permissible to give zakat to a son whom his father is supporting if he is an adult and in good health, because his father is not obligated to support him, making him one of the poor among the Muslims. However, the student who may receive zakat is one who is diligent in seeking beneficial knowledge for the Muslims and is religious. Zakat should be paid in the country where the money is located, and appointing your father to distribute the zakat in the country where the money is is the correct approach. And Allah Knows Best.

Talking to one's fiancée in Ramadan with romantic talk may lead to arousal, and if pre-ejaculate fluid (Madhy) is discharged as a result, it does not break the fast. However, it is advised to avoid actions that provoke desire and lead to this outcome. If semen (Mani) is discharged as a result, it does break the fast.
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

The discharge of Madhy doesn't invalidate one's fasting but it invalidates the ablution and his clothes must be washed because they are impure in this case. As for Mani, it breaks one's fast and making up invalidataed  is obligatory, beside; a Muslim suitor should abstain from these matters during Ramadan and not to degrade the holy month to this extent. And Allah Knows Best.

I had my menstrual period at the beginning of Ramadan for six days, then it ended and I became pure. After four days, I started noticing some blood again, which has lasted for two days now, but it is not as heavy as menstrual blood. Is this blood considered menstrual blood, and what is the ruling regarding my prayers, fasting, and reading the Quran during this period?
 

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad.
The minimum duration of menstruation is one day and one night, and its maximum is fifteen days. Any blood beyond this period is considered irregular bleeding (Istihada). Since the bleeding did not exceed fifteen days, it is considered menstrual blood within the regular cycle. Therefore, you should not pray or fast until the bleeding stops and the signs of purity appear. If the bleeding stops before fifteen days from when it first started, then all the blood you saw is considered menstrual blood, and you must make up the fasts, but not the prayers. If it exceeds fifteen days, then the first six days are menstrual blood, and the blood that follows is considered irregular bleeding. Your prayers and fasting are valid, and there is no issue with them. And Allah Knows Best."
 
*This answer was updated on [18/5/2023].

I work in a government institution that gives an additional three dinars per hour I work. The manager combines students into a single session because attendance is low, and the material taught to all groups is the same. I am paid for two hours, although I actually taught only one session, noting that my transportation costs one and a half dinars. What is the ruling?

The only amount you are permitted to take/have is for one hour work. And Allah Knows Best.