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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

I broke my oath and am now obligated to pay the expiation for a broken oath (kaffārat al-yamīn). Would it be valid to fulfill this by inviting the poor and needy to a meal for them to eat from?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
The expiation for a broken oath (kaffārat al-yamīn) is given to the poor (fuqarā') and needy (masākīn), and it must be given in the form of ownership (tamlīk) transferred to them of the required amount — namely, one mudd of the staple food of the locality, or its equivalent monetary value. It isn`t valid to invite the poor or needy to a meal prepared for them to eat from, as this does not constitute "ownership" (tamlīk) but merely "permission to partake" (ibāḥah).
Imam al-Shirbīnī (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "What is intended is that ownership be transferred to them; therefore, providing them with lunch or dinner [as a meal to eat from] isn`t valid." [Summarized from Mughnī al-Muhtāj,Vol. 5/P.50]. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

If a woman becomes pure from menstruation before the Fajr Adhan in Ramadan, is she required to fast?

If a woman becomes pure (from menstrual period) before the Fajr Adhan, she must fast, as the impediment preventing her from fasting has been removed. The Sharia maxim in this regard states: "When the impediment is removed, the obligation returns."
She should then make the intention to fast before Fajr and perform ghusl (ritual purification) for prayer, whether before or after Fajr.

The Prophet ﷺ said: "There will emerge from my nation people who will drink the Qurʾān as they drink milk" — is this ḥadīth authentic, and what does it mean?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
ʿUqbah ibn ʿĀmir, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "There will emerge from my nation people who will drink the Qurʾān as they drink milk." (Reported by al-Ṭabarānī in al-Muʿjam al-Kabīr, and cited by al-Haythamī in Majmaʿ al-Zawāʾid, who stated: "Its narrators are trustworthy.")
The meaning of this ḥadīth is that there will emerge from this blessed nation people who recite the Holy Qurʾān without reflecting upon its meanings or pondering its rulings — the noble verses passing over their tongues just as milk passes over them when it is drunk, leaving no trace of thought, understanding, or contemplation behind. [See: al-Taysīr bi-Sharḥ al-Jāmiʿ al-Ṣaghīr,Vol.2/P.63] And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on the fasting of a woman who has reached menopause if menstrual blood flows?

If a woman reaches the age of menopause (which is usually sixty-two) and her menses have ceased, then she sees blood after that, and its duration is not less than a day and a night (24 hours), it is menstruation (hayd). If it is less than a day and a night, she is considered as having non-menstrual vaginal bleeding (mustahada), so she fasts and prays. However, she must perform ablution for every obligatory prayer after its time enters, pray immediately, and be treated as a person with a continuous condition. There is no specific end limit for a woman's menstruation; it is possible as long as the woman is alive. And Allah the Almighty knows best.