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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

It was found out that a man divorced his wife for the third time in 2005, but they continued cohabiting as man and wife. However, when they realized that what they were doing was unlawful, they came the Iftaa` Department in 2009 and were told that they can`t be together. What is the position of Sharia on this couple?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Her Iddah* period starts after the third divorce. As for the continued cohabitation, it is unlawful because being ignorant about the rulings of Sharia while in Dar Al-Islam* is no valid excuse. If a baby came as the fruit of this unlawful consummation of marriage, then a judge of Sharia has the final say in this regard because lineage is a serious matter. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* ʿIddah: a specified period of time that must elapse before a Muslim widow or divorcee may legitimately remarry. The Qurʾān (Sura,2/verse,228) prescribes that a menstruating woman have three monthly periods before contracting a new marriage; the required delay for a nonmenstruating woman is three lunar months.
* Dar Al-Islam: designates a territory where Muslims are free to practice their religion, though this often implies the implementation of Islamic law, whereas Dar al-Harb represents those lands ruled by non-believers

Does passing wind, from the anus without a smell, invalidate prayer?

If a person is certain of having passed wind even if it was with no smell, then both his/her ablution and prayer are invalidated, thus he/she should remake ablution and re-perform prayer.

I am a wholesale gold trader. My clients are retail gold shop owners. I sell them gold jewelry and ornaments on credit, and they repay me in weekly installments over a period of two months or more. The payments are made in cash for the labor charges and for the gold they owe me. In return, they may give me either cash or used gold.
 

It is not permissible to sell gold or silver on an installment basis or with a deferred payment; rather, immediate exchange is required. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "Gold for gold, silver for silver, wheat for wheat, barley for barley, dates for dates, and salt for salt, like for like, hand to hand. Whoever gives more or asks for more has engaged in usury; the giver and receiver are the same in this regard." (Muslim). Additionally, the weight of the gold must be equal when exchanging new for used; otherwise, it involves usury. The solution is to buy the used gold with cash, then sell the new gold for cash as well. However, payment must be made at the time of the transaction in both cases. Alternatively, one could take the used gold with the intention of refining it, reshape it into a new form, or repair it, then take a fee for the workmanship or repair. And Allah Knows Best

Should a woman who broke her fast because of delivery make up for missed fasting days before the next Ramadhaan, and what is the expiation due on her in case she delayed making up for them ?

She should make up for missed fasting days before the start of next Ramadan if possible, but if she didn`t while being able to, then she is obliged to make up for them along with feeding a needy person for each delayed day of the missed fasting days. However, if she wasn`t able to make up for the missed fasting days before the start of next Ramadan, she has to fast a day for every day that she missed, and no ransom is due on her. And Allah Knows Best.