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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the best charity to offer on behalf of the deceased? Is it giving food, reciting Quran, giving money or supplicating? What is the best charity to offer on behalf of dead father and dead husband? What is the best continuous charity to offer on behalf of the deceased?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. The deceased benefits from every righteous deed offered on his/her behalf, be that continuous charity, reciting Quran or a pious son praying for him/her. However, the best righteous deed is performing Haj and Omrah on their behalf especially if he/she hadn`t performed that ritual for it remains a debt on them. The evidence on this is that Ibn 'Abbas (Allah be pleased with them) reported: A man came to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and said: "Messenger of Allah, my mother has died (in a state) that she had to observe fasts of a month (of Ramadan). Should I complete (them) on her behalf? Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: Would you not pay the debt if your mother had died (without paying it)? He said: Yes. He (the Holy Prophet) said: The debt of Allah deserves more that it should be paid."{Related by Muslim}. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

Is the Saum (Fasting) of someone who ate and drank forgetfully while offering fasting of oath expiation invalidated?

Whosoever eats, or drinks forgetfully is exempted by Allah; therefore, he/she shouldn`t break their fast whether it was obligatory, non-obligatory, or expiatory. And Allah Knows Best.

My maternal aunt`s son is living abroad; however, both our families have recited Al-Fatehah declaring our engagement. We have been engaged for three months, but the marriage contract wasn`t concluded because he couldn`t come to Jordan since my mother and brothers are abroad. Is it allowed that he sees my picture without Hijab knowing that the marriage contract will be concluded at the first opportunity?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Betrothal is a promise to marry, so your betrothed is a stranger to you and isn`t permitted to look at you even through a picture. Once your marriage contract is concluded, you become husband and wife and he can look at you as much as he wants. Moreover, he may deputize his father to carry out the procedures of the marriage on his behalf. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Someone asked me to pay off his debt on his behalf as a loan, without any compensation. When I went to the creditor, he told me that if I paid the full amount at once, rather than in installments, he would give me a certain discount. Is this permissible? And if he applies the discount, to whom does the deducted amount belong?

If part of the debt is paid and the creditor forgives the remaining amount, the waiver is valid, and the remaining debt is no longer the responsibility of the original debtor. The person who paid the debt on behalf of another has no right to claim any portion of the original debt. And Allah Knows Best.