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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

A woman has asked her husband for Khulu`, her gold, deferred portion of the dowry and furniture. Is she entitled to that, knowing that her husband doesn`t want to divorce her?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Khulu`* can`t takes place save before a judge of Sharia and he has the authority to make the suitable decision in this matter. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* Khulu' is when parties agree to separate by way of consent, usually upon terms such as the wife agreeing to repay her Mahr (dowry) to the husband upon him agreeing to grant Talaq. The iddah period (waiting time after a divorce) of a woman who seeks a khula, is one menstrual cycle or one month if she is post-menopause i.e. ceased menstruating. This is to ensure she is not pregnant. This differs from when a man gives a talaq; the iddah period is three cycles or three months.

Is it permissible to pay the Fitr Zakah (obligatory charity) of Ramadan on behalf of a dead person?

The Fitr Zakah of Ramadhaan isn`t due on one who had passed away before the sunset of the last day of Ramadan. And Allah Knows Best.

What is the expiation for perjury?

One who commits perjury should repent, seek Allah`s forgiveness and offer an expiation which is: feeding ten indigent persons, or clothing them, or giving a slave his freedom, but if that is beyond his means then, he should fast for three days. Allah, The Almighty, Says in this regard (What means): "Allah will not call you to account for what is futile in your oaths, but He will call you to account for your deliberate oaths: for expiation, feed ten indigent persons, on a scale of the average for the food of your families; or clothe them; or give a slave his freedom. If that is beyond your means, fast for three days. That is the expiation for the oaths ye have sworn. But keep to your oaths. Thus doth Allah make clear to you His signs, that ye may be grateful." [Al-Ma`idah/89].

A man has married a second wife and deprived the first from provision and overnight stay. He spent most of his time and wealth on his second wife. After sometime, the latter got sick and was diagnosed with breast cancer, which made him forsake her in bed and return to his first wife. What is the position of Sharia on this?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is forbidden for a woman to forsake her husband in bed without a lawful excuse since this is one of the mutual rights of spouses. When the wife abstains from making love to her husband without a lawful excuse, she is considered sinful. This is because the Prophet (PBUH) said: "If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband)." [Agreed upon]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.