Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is required of one who doubts the number of rakʿāt during prayer?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
If a person doubts the number of rakʿāt he has prayed, he should build upon the lesser number, as that is what he is certain of. He should then perform the prostration of forgetfulness (sujūd al-sahw) before the final salām at the end of the prayer. ʿAṭāʾ ibn Yasār narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "When any one of you is in doubt during his prayer and does not know whether he has prayed three rakʿāt or four, let him pray one more rakʿah and then perform two prostrations while seated before the salām. If the rakʿah he prayed was a fifth, these two prostrations will make it even; and if it was the fourth, then the two prostrations serve as a humiliation for the devil." (Reported by Abū Dāwūd.)
It is stated in al-Muqaddimah al-Ḥaḍramiyyah — one of the foundational texts of the Shāfiʿī school: "If one doubts whether he has prayed three rakʿāt or four, he is obliged to build upon the lesser number."
However, if such doubt recurs repeatedly and reaches the level of obsessive whispering (waswasah), he should not build upon the lesser number in that case — rather, he should build upon the greater number. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

When is supplication (du‘a) more likely to be accepted: before or after breaking the fast in Ramadan?

Du‘a is accepted at all times, and this is part of Allah’s mercy and generosity toward His servants.
The Prophet ﷺ said: "No Muslim makes a supplication that does not involve sin or severing family ties except that Allah grants them one of three things: either He grants their supplication immediately, or He stores it for them in the Hereafter, or He averts from them an equivalent harm." [Narrated by Ahmad]
However, in Ramadan, du‘a is especially likely to be accepted shortly before breaking the fast.
The Prophet ﷺ said: "Three supplications are never rejected: the supplication of a fasting person until they break their fast, the supplication of a just leader, and the supplication of an oppressed person. Allah raises it above the clouds, opens the gates of heaven for it, and says: ‘By My might, I will surely grant you victory, even if after a while.’" [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi]

Is it permissible for a woman who has become pure before the end of forty days of confinement to perform different acts of worship? and is it lawful for her husband to have sex with her?

Once postpartum bleeding ceases and she is certain that it won`t happen again, she becomes pure, and so she should perform Ghusl (ritual bath), pray, and fast. She can also have sex with her husband even before the end of (40) days because the minimum of postpartum bleeding is a moment, and the maximum is (60) days. However, the postpartum bleeding for the majority of women is (40) days, but this does not apply to rest of them.

What is the ruling on wiping the front of the head beneath the ḥijāb, and is it permissible to wipe over the ḥijāb if it was put on while in a state of purification (wudu`)?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is permissible to wipe the front portion of the head (nāṣiyah) with the fingertips. It is likewise sufficient to place a wet hand over a head covering (ḥijāb), provided the moisture actually reaches the hair beneath it — if it does not, it does not suffice. A head covering is not treated in the same manner as leather socks (khuff) and may not be wiped over in lieu of the head itself.
Imām al-Nawawī, may Allah have mercy upon him, states in al-Majmūʿ (Vol.1/P.407): "If a person is wearing a turban and does not wish to remove it — whether for a valid reason or otherwise — he should wipe the entire front portion of the head... The same ruling applies to whatever a woman wears on her head. If, however, he confines himself to wiping over the turban without wiping any part of the head itself, this does not suffice — and there is no disagreement among us on this point." He further states: "A woman is like a man in the manner of wiping the head... She should insert her hand beneath her head covering so that the wiping falls upon the hair itself. If she places her wet hand over her head covering, our scholars stated: if the moisture does not reach the hair, it does not suffice her." And Allah the Almighty knows best.