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Parenting Training Skills
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 01-09-2022

Parenting Training Skills

 

 

Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects." [Agreed upon], hence the duty of parents for the care and education of their children. Nowadays, the need for training parents on parenting skills has increased to enable them to create a physically, intellectually, and spiritually integrated and balanced generation. Traditional upbringing and simulating the methods of our fathers and mothers are not suitable for this time and generation because of the changes that society has undergone at all levels. These changes have influenced the structure of the family and the upbringing patterns, leading parents to puzzle over simulating the strict parenting style on the one hand and the modern style that rests on understanding the needs and desires on the other.

It must be admitted that the majority of today`s generation is completely aware of its rights and doesn`t believe in the old parenting style applied to them. All these changes and the information revolution compel parents to change their methods of upbringing their children to achieve the desired objective.

 

Here, I will mention some parenting skills that should be known and activated in educational administration.

1- Learning the stages of child`s development as well as his/her behavior and needs during them.

2- Considering the motivation of children an observable lifestyle.

3- Learning effective positive methods for handling wrong behavior.

4- Using effective methods for communicating with the children.

 

Educators are aware of all these changes, so it is imperative to deal with the modern educational methods. Someone once said: "Teach your children how to survive in times different from those you have experienced." Passage of time, events, developments, and change in generation require educators to employ flexibility in dealing with children. It was also said: "People are the product of their era, not that of their fathers`." Obviously, these saying stress the previous concept.

Here, some may ask: "Does keeping abreast with changes an

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling of Islamic Law on sitting between the two prostrations, and what is the ruling on the dhikr recited during it?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
Sitting between the two prostrations (al-jalsah bayna al-sajdatayn) is one of the pillars (arkān) of the prayer, while the dhikr recited during it is Sunnah according to the Shāfi'ī scholars. It is recommended (mustahabb) to say what was narrated from Ibn 'Abbās (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) used to say between the two prostrations in the night prayer: 'Rabbi ighfir lī, warhamnī, wajburnī, warzuqnī, warfa'nī' (My Lord, forgive me, have mercy on me, make good my deficiencies, provide for me, and raise me)." If one were to say a different supplication instead, such as "Rabbi ighfir lī" (My Lord, forgive me), the prayer would still be valid.
If the worshipper omits this dhikr between the two prostrations, whether intentionally or out of forgetfulness, their prayer remains valid and nothing is required of them, though they miss the reward of following the Sunnah. Leaving it out does not necessitate the prostration of forgetfulness (sujūd al-sahw).
It is stated in Hāshiyat al-Bājūrī 'alā Sharḥ Ibn Qāsim 'alā Matn Abī Shujā' (Vol.1/P.298): "The eleventh — i.e., of the eighteen pillars — his statement: 'sitting between the two prostrations,' meaning even in a supererogatory (nafl) prayer... his statement: 'with the supplication that has been narrated concerning it,' meaning: 'Rabbi ighfir lī, warhamnī, wajburnī, warfa'nī, warzuqnī, wahdinī, wa 'āfinī' (My Lord, forgive me, have mercy on me, make good my deficiencies, raise me, provide for me, guide me, and grant me well-being). Al-Ghazālī added: 'wa'fu 'annī' (and pardon me). Al-Mutawallī also added: 'Rabbi hab lī qalban taqiyyan, naqiyyan min al-shirk, bariyyan lā kāfiran wa lā shaqiyyan' (My Lord, grant me a heart that is God-fearing, pure from associating partners with You, innocent, neither disbelieving nor wretched)."And Allah, the Most High, knows best.

What is the ruling on a mother giving the Zakat of her wealth to her children?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is permissible for a mother to give her children from the Zakat if they are among those who are eligible for it—such as being poor (Fuqara), possessing no wealth, and not being sufficiently provided for by the maintenance (Nafaqah) of others. This is based on the statement of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ regarding Zaynab, the wife of 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with them both): (Your husband and your children are the most deserving of those upon whom you spend in charity) [Narrated by Al-Bukhari].
 
It is stated in [Al-Hawi al-Kabir, Vol. 8/P.537]: 'As for the wife, it is permissible for her to pay her Zakat to her husband from all the designated shares... Our evidence is the generality of the saying of Allah the Almighty: "Zakat expenditures are only for the poor and for the needy", and the Hadith of Abu Hurairah that the Prophet ﷺ said to Zaynab, the wife of 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: (Your husband and your children are the most deserving of those upon whom you spend), and this is taken in its general sense.' And Allah the Exalted knows best.

What is the ruling on a woman using contraception without her husband's knowledge if he is mistreating her?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is not permissible for a woman to use any means of delaying pregnancy without her husband's knowledge, consent, and mutual agreement. This is because having children is a sharʿī right belonging to both spouses equally in Islamic law. Imām al-Māwardī, may Allah have mercy upon him, stated: "The right to a child from a free woman is shared between them both" — meaning between the two spouses. [al-Ḥāwī al-Kabīr, 9/320]
It is therefore not permissible for either spouse to make a unilateral decision regarding the prevention of pregnancy without the consent of the other. We advise both spouses to discuss the matter with wisdom and mutual respect, so as to resolve any disagreement and arrive at a suitable solution that serves the interests of them both. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

Is it a condition for the mosque where I‘tikaf is performed to hold Jumu‘ah prayers?

No, it is not a condition for the mosque where I‘tikaf is performed to have Jumu‘ah prayers. However, if a person vows to perform continuous I‘tikaf, and Jumu‘ah occurs within that period, then they must observe I‘tikaf in a mosque where Jumu‘ah is held so that they do not break their continuity by leaving for Friday prayer.

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