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Dealing with Family Violence and Methods of Preventing it
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 01-02-2022

Dealing with Family Violence and Methods of Preventing it

 

 

Family violence (also called domestic violence) has caused societal, economic, psychological, health-related issues since psychological complexes resulting from this type of violence usually develop into aggravated medical conditions, aggressive or criminal behavior, and those subjected to such violence are likely to inflict it on others. Loosening of family ties, lack of trust and insecurity may lead to the vanishing of the family altogether since it is the nucleus of society and any threat it faces-through this violence - will eventually lead to undermining society as a whole.

 

Therefore, among the key solutions for the phenomenon of family violence is compliance with the provisions of Islamic Sharia, adopting its teachings, and applying them in family life. This is starts from the moment of searching for a life partner, having children, and raising them in a certain manner. Actually, Islam isn`t limited to performing acts of worship; rather, it is a way of life. Consequently, it is necessary to clarify the purpose of Sharia behind the verses and prophetic narrations in which "beating" was mentioned to prevent misusing them in the name of Islam.

 

Being the nucleus in the upbringing process and providing its members with the correct behavior, the family has shouldered huge responsibilities in different areas in a bid to protect its members from this violence. Some of these responsibilities are:

 

  • Adopting informed dialogue amongst its members.
  • Treating children equally and satisfying their psychological, social, material, and behavioral needs.
  • Participating with children on the moral and physical levels through becoming best friends in order to instil confidence in their hearts.
  • Minimizing TV shows showing violent content through instilling principles and morality in them from an early age.
  • Following up on their academic progress and developing their creative skills and hidden talents.
  • Enhancing love of country and society.
  • Living with each other in kindness and equity.
  • Putting an end to the phenomenon of divorce.

 

Moreover, media plays a pivotal role in guiding and correcting behavior. This role crystallizes in allocating media channels to help the family overcome domestic violence and utilizing commercial breaks to broadcast awareness-raising messages. This is in addition to disseminating the culture of respect for the opposite sex, acquainting men with the rights of women, training the family on addressing problems along with raising mothers` awareness - through targeted programs-about age and stages of child`s development. Also, uncovering the reasons leading to this violence, preventing it, and highlighting this phenomenon through citation of evidence. Moreover, raising awareness of family about the adverse psychological and social effects of violence on both the individual and society. Further, printing and publishing booklets clarifying the psychological effect of this violence on the children.

 

The role of school is no longer limited to teaching since we live in an era that enabled man to learn through utilizing various means of communication. Accordingly, school must play a leading role in educating the community and guiding the behavior of its members via different programs that it prepares and projects that it adopts. School can help prevent domestic violence through raising the awareness of mothers and fathers. This can be achieved by addressing societal issues and finding the effective solutions, combating unusual behavior, emphasizing the importance of volunteerism, in addition to making voluntary contributions.

 

Raising awareness on the religious, social, intellectual, cultural, and legal levels, in addition to acquainting members of society with their rights and duties, is amongst the best means to end this phenomenon. However, this has to come in different forms, such as training, workshops, rehabilitation, lectures, booklets, brochures, conferences, seminars; utilizing all available means like media organizations as well as government and non-government institutions.

 

In this context, we stress the role undertaken by male and female spiritual guides and mosque preachers in terms of raising awareness and offering advice and guidance; particularly since our society is influenced by religious guidance and discourse, which are based on clear principles of Sharia.

 

Some of the key solutions that actively participate in curbing domestic violence are:

 

  • Offering the necessary advice and guidance to protect society from domestic violence.
  • Providing psychological, social, and familial counselling to members of families suffering from domestic violence.
  • Establishing a connection between the victims of domestic violence and the available counselling organizations through providing hotlines, which enable the latter to give assistance if needed.
  • Providing secure places for women and children to make them feel safe, even temporarily, and to enable specialists to provide the necessary assistance.
  • Teaching women and children to develop security plans inside and outside home.
  • Cooperating with family and children organizations to find solutions that suit each individual family.
  • Training children to have non-violent reactions to blow off some steam considering the violence they have been subjected to.
  • Teaching positive behavior to children to enable them control anger and negative emotions to help them form sound and safe relationships in the future.

And all praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds.

 

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

In the Sharia-compliant viewing  at a prospective bride (*al-naẓrah al-sharʿiyyah*), is it permissible for the man to see the woman without a veil (*ḥijāb*)?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is sunnah for the suitor to see the woman he is seeking to marry within the limits the Sharīʿah permits, namely looking at the face and the hands (palms and backs), based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): “Look at her, for it is more likely to bring about harmony between you.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhī.
The suitor may also ask one of the women to look at the woman he is seeking to marry. In that case, she is permitted to see of her what she is normally permitted to see, which is not limited to the face and hands, and she then describes these matters to the suitor. It is narrated on the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) sent Umm Sulaym to look at a girl, and said: “Smell her breath, and look at her heels.” Narrated by Aḥmad in his Musnad.
It is stated in Tuḥfat al-Muḥtāj (Vol.7/p.192): “For one who cannot easily look, or does not wish to look himself, it is sunnah to send someone who is permitted to look at her, to observe her and describe her to him, even regarding what he himself is not permitted to look at. He thereby gains through the sending what he would not gain through looking. Because of the added need for this, it is excepted from the prohibition of a woman describing another woman to a man.”
The permissibility of looking is conditional upon his resolve to marry her once he is able to, his predominant assumption that his proposal will be accepted, and his assumption that the woman is free of marriage and of a waiting period (ʿiddah). Otherwise, looking is forbidden.
Accordingly, it is not permissible for the suitor to look at anything other than the face and hands. He may ask one of his maḥram women, such as his mother or sister, to see the woman unveiled, and the Sharia-compliant viewing (of a prospective bride) must take place in the presence of one of the woman’s maḥrams. And Allah Almighty knows best.

What are the Sunnahs and etiquettes recommended for the person offering the Udhiyah?

 
In the Name of Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
There are several Sunnahs (prophetic traditions) and etiquettes that are highly recommended for the person offering an Udhiyah (sacrificial offering) to observe:
 
First:
It is a Sunnah for anyone intending to offer a sacrifice to refrain from cutting or removing any of their hair or nails once the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah begin. This is based on the statement of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "When the ten days [of Dhul-Hijjah] begin and one of you intends to offer a sacrifice, let him not touch any of his hair or skin." (Narrated by Muslim)
 
However, if someone does happen to remove any hair or nails, they have not committed a sin, and their sacrifice remains perfectly valid.
 
Second:
The person offering the sacrifice should ideally slaughter the animal themselves. If they are unable to do so, they should at least witness its slaughter. This is drawn from what our Master, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), said to Lady Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her):
 
"Stand up and witness your sacrifice, for with its very first drop of blood, every sin you have committed will be forgiven." (Narrated by Al-Tabarani in his Mu'jam, Al-Hakim in his Mustadrak, and Al-Bayhaqi in his Sunan)
 
Third:
Face the Qiblah (the direction of prayer) at the time of slaughtering, as the Qiblah is the most honorable of directions.
 
Fourth:
Pronounce the name of Allah (Tasmiyah) at the moment of slaughter by saying: "Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim" (In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful). Even if one forgets to say it, the meat remains lawful (Halal) to eat. Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He, says:
 
"So eat of that [meat] upon which the name of Allah has been mentioned." (Al-An'am: 118)
 
It is also recommended to send blessings upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and to follow it with the Takbeer (Allahu Akbar).
 
Fifth:
Supplicate for acceptance by saying: "Allahumma hadhihi minka wa ilayka, fa-taqabbal minni" (O Allah, this is a blessing from You and is offered back to You, so please accept it from me). This means: This sacrifice is a blessing that originated from You, and I am offering it to draw closer to You. And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.

What is the ruling on applying perfume while fasting?

Applying perfume does not break the fast. However, it is better to avoid it, as fasting is a practice of simplicity and restraint, while perfume is a form of luxury.

What is the ruling of Islamic Law on kissing while fasting?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is prohibitively disliked (makrūh taḥrīman) for a husband to engage in foreplay with or kiss his wife during the daylight hours of Ramaḍān if doing so stirs his desire. If pre-seminal fluid (madhī) is released as a result, the fast is not invalidated; however, if seminal fluid (manī) is released, the fast is broken.
Imām al-Khaṭīb al-Sharbīnī, may Allah have mercy upon him, stated: "It is prohibitively disliked to kiss — whether on the mouth or elsewhere — for one whose desire is stirred, whether man or woman, to the extent that he fears it may lead to intercourse or ejaculation. Embracing, touching, and similar acts without a barrier carry the same ruling as kissing in this regard, because such acts expose the act of worship to being corrupted — and as the two Ṣaḥīḥs record: 'Whoever circles around a protected boundary is liable to fall into it.'"
He further added: "It is preferable for one whose desire is not stirred — even if he is a young man — to refrain from such acts as well, so as to close the door entirely. For he may believe his desire has not been aroused when in fact it has. Moreover, it is Sunnah for the fasting person to abstain from all desires without exception." — Summarised with minor adaptation from [Mughnī al-Muḥtāj]. And Allah the Almighty knows best.