Is it permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband (for sexual intercourse)?
It isn`t permissible for her to do so unless for a sound reason.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it valid for the 'aqīqah to be performed using the newborn child's own wealth?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is not permissible for the guardian to perform the 'aqīqah using the newborn child's own wealth, because the 'aqīqah is a voluntary act of giving (tabarru'), and a guardian is prohibited from making voluntary expenditures from the child's wealth. Should he do so, he becomes financially liable for what he spent. And Allah Almighty knows best.
What is I‘tikaf, and how is it performed?
I‘tikaf is staying in the mosque with the intention of I‘tikaf. It is fulfilled by remaining in the mosque for a period that qualifies as devotion or seclusion (I‘tikaf). It is recommended (Sunnah) for anyone entering the mosque to intend I‘tikaf as long as they remain inside.