Is it permissible to participate in an Udhiyah?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
Regarding the sacrificial offering (Udhiyah), if it is a sheep or a goat, it only avails for one person. However, if it is a cow or a camel, it avails for seven people. It is permissible for the seven participants to have different intentions; for example, some may intend the sacrifice (Udhiyah), some the ’Aqiqah (sacrifice for a newborn), and others may simply intend to obtain meat.
It is stated in Hashiyat Qalyubi ‘ala Sharh al-Mahalli (Vol.4/P.256) and in Bushra al-Karim (p. 706):
"If one slaughters a camel or a cow on behalf of seven... it is permissible. Likewise, it is permissible if some of them intend their seventh for meat, and others intend their seventh for ’Aqiqah." And Allah the Almighty knows best.
What is the ruling on performing istinja' before every ablution?
Istinja' is not from the conditions for the validity of ablution. It is only obligatory for prayer when there is impurity from urine or stool on the private part, or if there is fear of the impurity spreading to the body or clothing. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
How should the sacrifice (udhiyah) be distributed?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is obligatory to give the poor a portion of the meat from a voluntary sacrifice (Udhiyah al-Tatawwu’), which should not be less than approximately half a kilogram of raw meat. Other parts do not suffice for this obligation, such as the liver, tripe, or intestines.
It is Sunnah for the one offering the sacrifice to divide it into thirds: one-third for himself and his household to eat, one-third to be given as charity to the poor, and one-third to be given as a gift to friends and neighbors, even if they are wealthy. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for the wife to give the Zakah (obligatory charity) of her money to her poor husband?
Yes, it is permissible for the wife to give from the Zakah of her money to her poor husband. And Allah Knows Best.