How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?
Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.
Is it permissible to make ablution without answering the call of nature after waking up?
Washing front and back openings (Istinjaa`) is not a condition for the validity of ablution because it is done to remove Najaasah (impurity), thus if there is no Najaasah, there is no need for that, and then it is permissible to make ablution without answering the call of nature. However, prayer is invalidated if there is Najaasah on the anus ,or the front opening, so it (Najaasah) must be removed for the prayer to become valid, and not the ablution.
Is it permissible for a woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law?
It is forbidden for the woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law because he isn`t a Mahram (unmarriageable) of hers.
What is the ruling on istinja' after urination, and is it done with water and soap or with water only?
Istinja' from urine and stool is obligatory. It is permissible to perform istinja' with water alone, or with toilet paper alone. The best way is with toilet paper then water. If one wishes to suffice with one of them, then water is better. And Allah the Almighty knows best.