I have been married for five years. My husband has two sons from his first marriage. Nevertheless, I took care of his children, and gave birth to a baby boy who is now three years old. Unfortunately, we keep fighting all the time; sometimes over his two sons and sometimes over his family. If I serve his family members and praise them, he treats me kindly. If I don`t, he turns my life into living hell. What should I do?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.
Spouses should live with each other on a footing of kindness and equity. In your case, constructive dialogue is the best course of action. We advise you to be patient, commit your affair to Allah and ask Him to help you. We also recommend that you seek the help of the people of goodness and make them fix things between you and your husband. If all attempts for reconciliation fail then go to court, but we remind you that a problem, which could be solved with a beautiful word, is no problem at all, so praise family and children and try your best to win their hearts. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
Is it permissible to give my zakat to my grandson who is studying at university, while I am living abroad and my money is in my home country? Also, is it permissible to assign my father the responsibility of distributing the zakat to the people in my home country?
It is permissible to give zakat to a son whom his father is supporting if he is an adult and in good health, because his father is not obligated to support him, making him one of the poor among the Muslims. However, the student who may receive zakat is one who is diligent in seeking beneficial knowledge for the Muslims and is religious. Zakat should be paid in the country where the money is located, and appointing your father to distribute the zakat in the country where the money is is the correct approach. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible to make up for the missed fasts of the deceased?
A deceased`s missed fasts should be made up for by his/her guardian. It is also permissible to make up for the missed fasts of a deceased relative, and to pay a ransom in expiation for the latter`s missed fasts, which is feeding a needy person for every missed day. However, the guardian`s permission need to be sought by the non-relatives of the dead to fast on his behalf. And Allah Knows Best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
