Is washing both openings (Istinjaa`) a must before every ablution?
Washing the front and back openings (Istinjaa`) is a must in case they have an impurity, but if they do not, there is no need for that, and Istinjaa` is not a condition for the validity of ablution.
After I had prayed, I found a drop of menstrual blood and was unsure when that happened; what is the ruling on my prayer and fast?
All praise is due to Allah, peace and blessing be upon the Messenger of Allah.
Your prayer and fast are correct ,and you should not make up for them, and we ask Allah, The Almighty, to duely reward you for these acts of worship. Your menses start once you see blood because the situation remains as such unless there is certainty or predominant conjecture, as per the Fiqh maxim: "Certainty is not removed by doubt". And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a wife to boycott (not to attend to his different needs) her husband?
It isn`t permissible for the woman to boycott her husband unless he is the reason behind that, and it is recommended that both spouses seek the advice of righteous people to make reconciliation.
What is permissible for the husband to do as far as having sex with his wife is concerned?
The couple are free to enjoy each other sexually provided that they don`t do it during menses. It is also forbidden for the husband to enjoy the wife from her anus.