My mother is 70 years old and wishes to perform Hajj and Umrah, as she has never done so before. However, she also takes care of my ill father and is afraid of falling ill herself. What should she do?
If this is the obligatory Hajj – meaning she has not previously performed Hajj or Umrah – then it is permissible for her to go even without her husband's approval. However, she must travel with a Mahram (a male guardian) or a trustworthy group of women, and she should leave someone to care for her husband and attend to his needs. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible to swear by (Allah "The Living")?
Yes, it is permissible because "The Living" is one of Allah`s Attributes.
Is it permissible to divide the Aqeeqah amongst one`s brothers and family?
Giving a portion of the Aqeeqah, even a small one, to the poor and needy is obligatory, and if one`s brothers and family are among the needy then, they are more entitled to it, and this way it is a charity and an observation of kinship ties. However, if they aren`t needy then, it is permissible to give them from the Aqeeqah after giving the poor and needy their share.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.