Is it permissible for a financially capable woman to pay the Zakat to her sons or one of them?
It is permissible for a mother to give her children from zakat if they are eligible to receive it, even though she is obligated to provide for them. This is based on the saying of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) regarding Zainab, the wife of Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with them): "Your husband and your children are more deserving of your charity" [Al-Bukhari]. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for the young woman to turn the suitor down if she had no feelings for him?
Yes, it is permissible for her to do so.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it permissible to fast on behalf of the dead who died owing missed fast to make up?
His relative should fast on his behalf, and it is permissible for the guardians to give permission to non-relatives of the dead to fast on his behalf as well. And Allah Knows Best.