Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?

Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.

What is the ruling on someone who vowed to fast for two consecutive months, but failed to do so?

He is obliged to fulfill his vow by fasting for two consecutive months, but if he fails to do so then, it remains a debt on him until he either fulfills his vow, or dies. In case of his death, his guardian is supposed to fast on his behalf, or donate food from his estate in return for fasting, but if the guardian fails to do so then, it is all in the Hands of Allah.

Does the deceased hear the supplications or recitations of those visiting his/her grave? And does making constant supplications for the deceased who didn`t adhere to performing the prescribed prayers ameliorate his/her affliction?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.

In principle, the dead hear the living since it has been rigorously authenticated that the Prophet (PBUH) ordered the bodies of the idolaters slain in the Battle of Badr to be buried. He then approached them and called them one by one and said: "Have you found what your Lord promised to be true for we have found what our Lord promised us to be true." Umar asked him: "O messenger of God! Why do you speak to lifeless bodies?" The Prophet (PBUH) replied: "By the One Who has sent me with the truth! You do not hear my words better than they do except that they cannot respond." [Agreed upon].

However, not all the deceased are in the same situation because Allah The Almighty Knows: "Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up." [Al-Mu`minun/100]. Moreover, supplication reaches the deceased. And Allah Knows Best..

What husband's stand should be, if his wife disagrees with his mother?

Both the mother and the wife have rights on you (Questioner); therefore, you are obliged to treat both justly, resort to wisdom to please both and intiate reestablishing cordial relations among them. And Allah Knows Best.