When is Istikharah (guidance prayer) Du`a offered, before Tasleem (saying asalamu alikum warahmatu allah wa barakatuh to end the prayer), or after it?
It is offered after Tasleem.
How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?
Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.
Is committing Zina (Adultery and extramarital sex) without the intention of getting pregnant or deflowered considered full Zina?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May Allah`s peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) says: "The eyes commit fornication, the hands, the feet, and the private parts." [Musnad Ahmad, P.3912]. Sheikh Shu`aib `Arn`oot graded this Hadith as sound. What you are asking about is far graver. Generally speaking, sincere repentance erases sins, good deeds erase bad deeds, and fearing Allah stops one from committing this heinous act. In addition, the devil is man`s worst enemy and whoever surrenders themselves to the wolf will be eaten. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
Is it permissible for the woman who is observing Iddah after the death of her husband to exchange calls with her relatives and husband`s family call?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is permissible for the woman who is observing Iddah* after death of husband to exchange calls with them; however, when she speaks to non-Mahrams , she shouldn`t be soft of speech and she should be straight to the point. This because Almighty Allah Says (What means): "O ye wives of the Prophet! Ye are not like any other women. If ye keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft of speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease aspire (to you), but utter customary speech." [Al-Ahzaab/32]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
[1] The iddah is a waiting period that a Muslim woman observes after the death of her husband or after a divorce. The Quran says: For those men who die amongst you and leave behind wives, they (the wives) must confine themselves (spend iddah) for four months and ten days.