Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it permissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law?
It is impermissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law, and it is also impermissible for a person to have a Khulwa (seclusion) with his sister-in-law.
Is it permissible to offer Tahajjud prayer after Witr prayer?
It is permissible to offer voluntary prayer after Witr (An odd number prayer performed between Isha and Fajr) prayer. However, it is desirable that the night prayer be ended with Witr. Therefore, it is desirable for one, who thought that he was most probably going to wake up at night in order to offer Tahajjud, to offer Witr after it, but one, who fears that he might not wake up, should offer Witr before going to bed.
Is it permissible to pay the Zakah to my grandmother who lives alone in a rented accommodation with bad conditions noting she had three sons.
Zakah cannot be given to ascendants (parents and grandparents). It is obligatory for her sons and grandsons to provide for her, and they would be sinful if they fail to do so. And Allah Knows Best.