Is it permissible for a wife to boycott (not to attend to his different needs) her husband?

It isn`t permissible for the woman to boycott her husband unless he is the reason behind that, and it is recommended that both spouses seek the advice of righteous people to make reconciliation.

Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?

Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.

An Imam stood to offer a fifth Rak`ah in a four-Rak`ah prayer, and he was reminded to sit by those behind him, but he wouldn`t listen. What is the ruling on those who followed his lead knowingly and intentionally?

If the Imam stood to offer a fifth Rak`ah, those praying behind him shouldn`t have approved of that, and the prayer of those who did is considered null and void.

Generally speaking, I`m dutiful to my mother and opt for obeying her. However, she chose a certain girl to be my future wife, but I`m not pleased with her choice although that girl comes from a good family and enjoys good character. Should I obey my mother or choose another girl that lives up to my expectations?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.

One must obey their parents in whatever is in compliance with the teachings of Sharia and within one`s capacity. However, you aren`t to blame for not marrying that girl, but it is better that you tell your mother about that and it is preferable that you perform Istikharah prayer. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.