Is it permissible to give to the poor from among the People of the Book from the Udhiyah?
Praise be to Allah, and prayers and peace be upon our Master the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible to give to the poor among the People of the Book from a voluntary sacrifice (uḍḥiyyat taṭawwuʿ), just as it is permissible to give charity (ṣadaqah) to them. This opinion is a view (wajh) within the Shāfiʿī school, which was favored by al-Muḥibb al-Ṭabarī and Imam al-Nawawī. [See: Ḥāshiyat Ibn Qāsim al-ʿAbbādī ʿalā Tuḥfat al-Muḥtāj (Vol.9/P.365)]. And Allah Almighty knows best.
Is it recommended (mustaḥabb) for the one offering a voluntary sacrifice (uḍḥiyyat taṭawwuʿ) to eat from its meat?
In the Name of Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is highly recommended (Mustahabb) for the person offering a voluntary Udhiyah (sacrificial animal) to eat from its meat, but it is not an obligatory requirement (Wajib). Allah the Almighty says {what means}: "So eat of them and feed the needy who do not beg and the beggar. Thus have We subjected them to you that you may be grateful." (Al-Hajj/ 36)
"So eat of them": This directive is an encouraging recommendation, not a binding command.
The Qani’ (the needy who do not beg): Refers to a poor person who refrains from asking people for help out of dignity.
The Mu’tarr (the beggar): Refers to a poor person who explicitly asks others for assistance. And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.
Is it permissible for the young woman to turn the suitor down if she had no feelings for him?
Yes, it is permissible for her to do so.
What is the ruling on wiping the white area behind the ears instead of wiping the head?
The obligation in ablution is to wipe some of the head; it is not a condition to wipe all of it. Wiping the white area behind the ears suffices for that. And Allah the almighty knows best.