Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
I took a housing loan from the bank for a 20-year period. Four years have passed, and I recently learned that this loan is usurious. I wish to perform Umrah. Am I permitted to perform it? If not, what should I do?
You are permitted to perform Umrah. Strive to repay the debt in hopes of reducing the amount of usurious interest. Allah Says (What means): "And there are others who have acknowledged their sins. They had mixed a righteous deed with another that was bad. Perhaps Allah will turn to them in forgiveness. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful." [At-Tawbah/102]. And Allah Knows Best.
What is the torment of the grave?
We seek refuge in Allah from the torment of the grave. The important point is that the cause of the torment of the grave is disbelief or committing sins without repentance. It affects the soul, and the body is impacted by it, even if we do not see it. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for one to shake hands with his uncle`s daughter?
No, it isn`t because he is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to her.