Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband (for sexual intercourse)?
It isn`t permissible for her to do so unless for a sound reason.
What is the ruling on making up missed fasts from many years?
A Muslim must make up for any missed fasts, as they are a debt owed to Allah. The Prophet ﷺ said:
"The debt owed to Allah is more deserving of being fulfilled." [Narrated by Muslim]
Whoever has missed fasts must make them up as long as they are alive and capable of fasting.
Are school exams a valid excuse for breaking the fast in Ramadan?
School and university exams are not considered a valid excuse for breaking the fast, as most students take their exams while fasting without experiencing extreme hardship. Fasting does not conflict with exam preparation, and a Muslim seeks strength in obedience to Allah for both worldly and spiritual matters.