Does the deceased hear the supplications or recitations of those visiting his/her grave? And does making constant supplications for the deceased who didn`t adhere to performing the prescribed prayers ameliorate his/her affliction?
Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.
In principle, the dead hear the living since it has been rigorously authenticated that the Prophet (PBUH) ordered the bodies of the idolaters slain in the Battle of Badr to be buried. He then approached them and called them one by one and said: "Have you found what your Lord promised to be true for we have found what our Lord promised us to be true." Umar asked him: "O messenger of God! Why do you speak to lifeless bodies?" The Prophet (PBUH) replied: "By the One Who has sent me with the truth! You do not hear my words better than they do except that they cannot respond." [Agreed upon].
However, not all the deceased are in the same situation because Allah The Almighty Knows: "Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up." [Al-Mu`minun/100]. Moreover, supplication reaches the deceased. And Allah Knows Best..
What is the ruling on a woman shaking hands with the brothers of her husband`s father, and not putting on Islamic wear before them?
The aforesaid are strangers to the their brother`s son`s wife, therefore, it is forbidden for her to take off her Islamic wear before them, or to shake hands with them.
Is Making up Missed Obligatory Prayers an Obligation?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.
Missed obligatory prayer/prayers is a debt upon Muslim and making it up is an obligation, since the Prophet (PBUH) said: "pay the debt due to God, for it is the one which most deserves to be paid." [Agreed upon]. And Allah Knows Best.
Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.