Articles

Family`s Role in Countering Extremism
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 16-01-2023

 

 

Family`s Role in Countering Extremism

 

 

The family is the first line of defense that prevents its members from falling as victims for extremism and perversion. It also corrects behavior, builds values and morals, leads minds and thoughts, and teaches the children what is right, wrong, lawful, and unlawful.

Despite the growing role of media and educational institutions in modern societies, the institution of the family has the biggest impact on human life in terms of the intellect, morals and practices. However, the mission of the family remains linked to how much it achieves the foundations of sound education derived from the magnanimous message of Islam, which protects our children against causes of perversion and provides them with the ability to counter factors of corruption and extremism.

As a concept, extremism is tied with exaggeration, strictness, and ignoring the right course of action in understanding issues whether with regards to religion or worldly matters. In fact, the concept of extremism isn`t limited to the calls for violence, hatred, Takfir (Accusing Muslims with disbelief) and sectarian militarization; rather, it extends to calls for division, discrimination, and exclusion based on religious or political grounds. This deepens the tendency towards conflicting with the other, destroys the social fabric, and hinders the building of human relationships on basis of equal rights and duties.

In Islam, family education keeps members of society away from extremism and exaggeration. Rather, it creates an integrated and balanced personality since the family is primarily responsible for the formation of an individual`s true character as well as morals. Proper education is the outcome of love, mercy, mutual respect between spouses, and parents` sense of duty and responsibility as regards the greatness of the task ahead.

Undoubtedly, the family that is broken and far removed from the values of Islam can produce various forms of extremism, behavioral, psychological, and intellectual deviation. The children-deprived from love, sound moral guidance, steered not to accept others, immersed in selfishness and self-love, and adopt perverted notions about the issues of Islam-are more susceptible than others to become perverted and extremists. This is because they feel marginalized, detached from society, and skeptic about society and its higher values.

The Islamic family education is the best education that establishes a collaborative and cohesive society. In addition, adherence to the principles and guidelines advocated by Islam represent the optimal method to confront and defeat extremism, and this is reflected in the following educational aspects:

1- Maximizing Human Worth.

The Noble Quran confirms that the value of a human being lies in his/her humanity, not in his/her ethnic, religious or cultural affiliations. Almighty Allah Says {What means}: "We have honoured the sons of Adam; provided them with transport on land and sea; given them for sustenance things good and pure; and conferred on them special favours, above a great part of our creation." {Al-Isra`/70}.

2- Building Psychological Balance.

If the sense of injustice and persecution represent an essential trait in the building of the extreme personality, which suffers from persecution complex, then the good family upbringing must be based on psychological balance and not to be dragged behind the sense of injustice because it leads to spreading hatred and the desire for revenge.

3- Building Objective Thinking.

The family education encompasses moral, behavioral as well as intellectual aspects. This is since a child learns from its parents ways of thinking along with forms of behavior, consciously or unconsciously; directly or indirectly.

Some forms of objective thinking are:

A- Not generalizing judgments, be that in religious, moral or political issues.

B- Teaching children the scientific method in explaining social phenomena and that there are reasons behind them that can be grasped by the human mind, and that this doesn`t go against believing in Allah. However, it is a religious duty in addition to being a human necessity that elevates human societies.

4- Building the Right Conscious Concepts.

Misconceptions are key factors for extremism; namely when it comes to the concepts of (Loyalty and disavowal, governance, innovation, and other). This conceptual flaw leads to the inability to draw a distinction between religion as a set of theoretical principles and sacred texts and religiosity as a way of understanding and application practiced by an individual in reality. This is reflected in understanding the discrepancy between what is attributed to Islam from amongst the practices that go against its values and morals and Islam itself. This helps the younger generation to reject extreme practices attributed to Islam and impede being dragged behind extremist movements. It also impedes having doubts about the values and the humanity of Islam when love and mercy are the cornerstone and aim of family education. This will also be reflected on the methods and styles of education and will be anti-extremism.

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling of Islamic Law on kissing while fasting?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is prohibitively disliked (makrūh taḥrīman) for a husband to engage in foreplay with or kiss his wife during the daylight hours of Ramaḍān if doing so stirs his desire. If pre-seminal fluid (madhī) is released as a result, the fast is not invalidated; however, if seminal fluid (manī) is released, the fast is broken.
Imām al-Khaṭīb al-Sharbīnī, may Allah have mercy upon him, stated: "It is prohibitively disliked to kiss — whether on the mouth or elsewhere — for one whose desire is stirred, whether man or woman, to the extent that he fears it may lead to intercourse or ejaculation. Embracing, touching, and similar acts without a barrier carry the same ruling as kissing in this regard, because such acts expose the act of worship to being corrupted — and as the two Ṣaḥīḥs record: 'Whoever circles around a protected boundary is liable to fall into it.'"
He further added: "It is preferable for one whose desire is not stirred — even if he is a young man — to refrain from such acts as well, so as to close the door entirely. For he may believe his desire has not been aroused when in fact it has. Moreover, it is Sunnah for the fasting person to abstain from all desires without exception." — Summarised with minor adaptation from [Mughnī al-Muḥtāj]. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What are the signs of Laylat al-Qadr?

It is said that among its signs are:
● A sense of peace and tranquility during the night.
● The sun rises on the following morning white and without strong rays.
However, one should not be preoccupied with searching for its signs at the expense of worship. Allah has hidden its exact date so that we strive in worship throughout multiple nights, ensuring that we attain its great reward.

I`m infatuated with a man, is it permissible for me to make supplication that he falls in love with me and becomes my husband?

Islam has honored women by being proposed to by men, and not the other way around, so it is inappropriate for a woman to propose to a man since one who hastens in asking for a thing prematurely shall be punished by deprivation. In fact, such a phenomenon is the result of unlawful mixing between the two sexes.

In the Sharia-compliant viewing  at a prospective bride (*al-naẓrah al-sharʿiyyah*), is it permissible for the man to see the woman without a veil (*ḥijāb*)?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is sunnah for the suitor to see the woman he is seeking to marry within the limits the Sharīʿah permits, namely looking at the face and the hands (palms and backs), based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): “Look at her, for it is more likely to bring about harmony between you.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhī.
The suitor may also ask one of the women to look at the woman he is seeking to marry. In that case, she is permitted to see of her what she is normally permitted to see, which is not limited to the face and hands, and she then describes these matters to the suitor. It is narrated on the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) sent Umm Sulaym to look at a girl, and said: “Smell her breath, and look at her heels.” Narrated by Aḥmad in his Musnad.
It is stated in Tuḥfat al-Muḥtāj (Vol.7/p.192): “For one who cannot easily look, or does not wish to look himself, it is sunnah to send someone who is permitted to look at her, to observe her and describe her to him, even regarding what he himself is not permitted to look at. He thereby gains through the sending what he would not gain through looking. Because of the added need for this, it is excepted from the prohibition of a woman describing another woman to a man.”
The permissibility of looking is conditional upon his resolve to marry her once he is able to, his predominant assumption that his proposal will be accepted, and his assumption that the woman is free of marriage and of a waiting period (ʿiddah). Otherwise, looking is forbidden.
Accordingly, it is not permissible for the suitor to look at anything other than the face and hands. He may ask one of his maḥram women, such as his mother or sister, to see the woman unveiled, and the Sharia-compliant viewing (of a prospective bride) must take place in the presence of one of the woman’s maḥrams. And Allah Almighty knows best.