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Threats and Challenges Facing the Family
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 12-01-2023

Threats and Challenges Facing the Family

"Failure to Shoulder the Responsibility of Upbringing"

 

The family is the essential building block of society in the sense that it is the children`s first cultural, educational, and environmental vessel. The family consists of a group of individuals related by bloodline. It also holds society together and plays a key role in building a righteous, integrated, and closely knitted society in which love, cooperation, national unity, and security prevail. Moreover, the family is built on love, mercy, and dwelling in tranquility; as reflected in the following verse: " And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." {Ar-Rum/21}. 

One of the most important challenges facing the family nowadays is failure to shoulder the responsibility of upbringing, and this can be attributed to ignorance or negligence.

One of the major threats to the family is parents' failure to perform the responsibility of upbringing their children. This is despite the fact the Allah mentioned this responsibility in the Quran and tied it with children`s obedience and dutifulness to parents. He The Almighty Says {What means}: "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." {Al-Isra`/23-24}.

The importance of this responsibility is clearly reflected in the Prophetic tradition. Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported:

The Prophet (PBUH) said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects."

[Agreed upon].

Every person has certain responsibilities and will be held to account for them before Almighty Allah. It is worth pointing that fulfilling duties towards one`s dependents will be to his/her  benefit, in the first place, and that of society, in addition to receiving a reward for that from Allah. Conversely, failure to do so will have negative repercussions on society and being subjected to severe punishment from Allah. This is why the Prophet (PBUH) directs his nation to fulfill its duties in the best manner possible and guides to that, which is best for it with regards to religious and worldly interests.

In addition, a baby is born with a pure and sound hearts, so we must teach it the sound Aqida (Islamic creed) and arm it with piety and righteousness to achieve a sublime and strong society.

The responsibility of the man according to the above Hadith is achieved through raising his children and educating them, which requires keeping them far from suspicious matters, in addition to providing them with life essentials, such as clothes, food, and accommodation, but with moderation. He must also take care of them, do what is in their best interest and treat them justly. "Indeed, Allah Will Question everyone who is responsible about his charge."

As for the woman`s responsibility according to the same Hadith, it is reflected in serving her husband, raising his children to be righteous members of society, dealing with them patiently at times of hardship, managing their affairs, in addition to preserving her husband`s wealth.

Through inquiry and considering the situation of the families, we can summaries the educational methods as follows:

1- Authoritarian parenting style. This is the traditional method in which the parents control the personality of their children by imposing orders and setting up rules not up for discussion. They bear down heavily upon their children to control their behavior. This style makes the children lose self-confidence, rely heavily on their parents, don`t think on their own, and seek parent`s approval for every step they take. However, a gap may appear between the parents and their children as the latter grow older. This is to the level that the children become overwhelmed with the desire to get rid of their parent`s domination to enjoy their independent personalities.

2- Free-range parenting style. This is an easy method in which the parents don`t insist on certain rules of behavior, so there are no limits or controls. This style involves a great deal of freedom, but little order and guidance. This causes the children to become rebellious and disobedient, not governed by order or rules and tend to be impulsive. In addition, when they become teenagers, they tend to commit shameful practices, such as taking drugs. 

3- Balanced parenting style and its effect on the children. This method is a combination of the two previous methods of parenting; however, their negative aspects are avoided while the positives are highlighted. This method focuses on the child and developing his/her capacities, which means supporting the child`s independence within reasonable limits. Moreover, it must be stressed that marriage is a commitment that requires ability and competence, and here we don`t mean material capacity alone; rather, the capacity to maintain the marital relationship and find a balance of give and take, rights, and obligations; all of which emanates from responsibility.

 

 

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

 
What is the ruling on someone who eats or drinks thinking that the sun has set, then realizes that it has not yet set?

Whoever eats or drinks believing that the sun has set, then later discovers that it has not yet set, their fast is invalid, and they must make up that day after Ramadan. It is not permissible to break the fast before confirming sunset—either by seeing it, through personal reasoning, or by relying on the statement of someone trustworthy in their religious commitment.

When does the time of Isha' prayer end?

All perfect praise be to Allah,The Lord of The Worlds                                                                                                                                                                        It ends at the emergence of true Fajr (Fajr Al-Sadiq ), and when the second Athaan of Fajr starts.And Allah Knows Best.

What is the wisdom behind legislating the Udhiyah?

The Muslim must know that through the Uḍḥiyah, he complies with the command of Allah, the Exalted, and performs a worship that brings him closer to Allah and distances him from the Fire.
 
The Uḍḥiyah holds profound wisdoms and noble meanings, including:
 
1-Reviving the Sunnah of Abraham, peace be upon him: He complied with Allah's command when He ordered him to slaughter his son Ishmael. Abraham, peace be upon him, succeeded in the test, and when he was about to slaughter his son, Allah sent down a ram to ransom Ishmael and commanded him to slaughter it instead. Allah, the Exalted, says {what means]: "And when he reached with him [the age of] exertion, he said, 'O my son, indeed I have seen in a dream that I [must] sacrifice you, so see what you think.' He said, 'O my father, do as you are commanded. You will find me, if Allah wills, of the steadfast.' And when they had both submitted and he put him down upon his forehead, We called to him, 'O Abraham, You have fulfilled the vision.' Indeed, We thus reward the doers of good. Indeed, this was the clear trial. And We ransomed him with a great sacrifice." [Al-Ṣāffāt/102-107]. Thus, the sacrificial offering became an enduring Sunnah until the Day of Judgment, and Muslims offer their wealth as sacrifices, drawing closer to Allah, the Exalted, reviving this great Sunnah.
 
2-Providing abundance for people on Eid day and the Days of Tashrīq: Among the wisdoms of the Uḍḥiyah is that the Muslim provides generously for his family, neighbors, relatives, and the poor during these days. The Muslim is encouraged to eat from his sacrifice, give charity from it to the poor, and gift from it to his wealthy neighbors. Thus, goodness spreads throughout the entire community. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "The Days of Tashrīq are days of eating and drinking." (Narrated by Muslim). Allah, the Exalted, says {what means}: "And the camels and cattle We have appointed for you as among the symbols of Allah; for you therein is good." [Al-Ḥajj/36]. This good includes the good of both this world and the Hereafter.

What is the ruling on offering a sheep as a sacrifice (Udhiyah) if its fat-tail is sound, except that when it was young, the tip of its fat-tail was cut so that it would grow larger? And what is the ruling in case of doubt regarding the amount that was cut?

 
In the Name of Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
Cutting a minor, insignificant portion from the tip of an animal's fat-tail (al-alyah) to encourage it to grow larger is not considered a defect, and it does not prevent the animal from being valid for sacrifice (Udhiyah).
 
It is stated in Tuhfat al-Muhtaj (Vol.9/P.352): "There is some scholarly deliberation regarding the common practice of cutting the tip of the fat-tail so that it grows larger. It could potentially be likened to a partial cut of the ear—supported by the jurists' general rule: 'even if it is a small amount.' On the other hand, if it is an exceptionally minor cut, it might have no effect on validity. This is explicitly clarified by the juristic exception to the general rule, which states that cutting a tiny piece from a large limb causes no harm. This latter view is more well-founded.
 
Furthermore, I found that some scholars investigated this matter and concluded: 'It should not affect validity if a custom-sanctioned portion of its fat-tail is removed during its youth to make it grow larger and look better, just as castrating a male animal causes no harm.' However, applying this unconditionally contradicts the established texts of the jurists, as understood from what I have laid out; thus, the restriction I specified is what must be relied upon."
 
Similarly, it is mentioned in Nihayat al-Muhtaj (8/135): "If a small piece is cut from the fat-tail to help it grow larger, the most well-founded view is that the sacrifice remains valid, as was given in a formal legal verdict (Fatwa) by my father [Shihab al-Din al-Ramli], may Allah be pleased with him. This is proven by the jurists' maxim: 'The loss of a tiny piece from a large limb causes no harm.'"
 
In cases where there is doubt as to whether the portion cut was large or small, the animal is still deemed valid for sacrifice. It is noted in Hashiyat al-Shubramallisi ‘ala Nihayat al-Muhtaj (Vol.8/P.135):
 
"This matter requires careful consideration, but the closer and more correct view is that it is valid. This is because soundness is the default state for the animal from which the piece was cut, and it aligns with what usually occurs—namely, that the part removed to help the fat-tail grow larger is naturally very small." And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.

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