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Tips for a Happy Family
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 08-12-2022

 

Dear husband,

 

In the beginning, we ask Allah to shower you and your wife with His blessings. We take the opportunity to remind you with the following pieces of advice from Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) to ensure happiness of your household and continued love between you and your wife:

 

1- Your wife is a trust with you and you will be held accountable for this trust Before Almighty Allah, so fear Allah while treating your wife. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Treat women kindly, they are like captives in your hands…." {Al-Tirmithi}. Moreover, he (PBUH) warned against wronging women where he said: "O Allah, I declare inviolable the rights of two weak ones: the orphans and women" [Ahmad & Ibn Majah and graded its chain of narrators by a sound one].

 

2- Good character and nobility are among the characteristics of the believers, so embrace them. Don`t be mean to your wife and consider her good characteristics. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "A believer must not hate (his wife) believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another." [Moslim].

 

3- Patience and tolerance are attributes that prolong love between spouses, so make sure to embrace them. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives." {Al- Tirmithi}.

4- Jealousy for the wife is a sign of faith and love. Because The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Are you surprised at Sa'd's jealousy of his honour? By Allah, I am more jealous of my honour than he, and Allah is more jealous than I." {Moslim}.

 

5- Suspicion and mistrust lead to spying and consequently breakdown of the family, so avoid them, because Allah The Almighty Said {What means}: "O ye who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Ye abhor that (so abhor the other)! And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful." [Al-Hujurat/12].

 

6- Observe forbearance and kindness when dealing with your wife; especially in the event of her slipping or making a mistake. Try to be of mature thought and keen on preserving your family and home.  Since the Prophet (PBUH) said: "Whenever forbearance is added to something, it adorns it; and whenever it is withdrawn from something, it leaves it defective." [Moslim].

 

7- Spend on your wife with kindness and you will have your reward from Allah. Since The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "Whatever you spend seeking thereby The Pleasure of Allah, will have its reward, even the morsel which you put in the mouth of your wife". [Agreed upon].

 

8- The right of the wife upon husband is to provide her with food, drink or garment whenever he provides himself with any of these. The Prophet (PBUH) was asked: "Messenger of God, what right can any wife demand of her husband?" He replied: "That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, not strike her on the face, and do not revile her or separate from her except in the house." [Transmitted by Ahmad, Abu Dawood and Ibn Majah].

 

9- Fiqh (Islamic Jurisprudence) is a necessity, so learn from it how to deal with your wife, your mutual rights and obligations, and teach these rules to her if she doesn`t know them.

 

10- Revealing wife`s secrets is both immoral and forbidden, so eschew such cowardly act, since The Prophet (PBUH) said: "The worst of people in position before Allah on the Day of Resurrection is the man who has intercourse with his wife, and she with him, and then spreads her secrets." [Moslim].

 

In conclusion, chivalry dictates that spouses overlook each other's slips and mistakes in case of separation and divorce. A righteous man was once asked: "What do you dislike about your wife?" He replied: "A prudent person doesn`t reveal a secret." When he divorced her, he was asked: "Why did you divorce her?" He said: "She isn`t my wife any more, she is a stranger to me."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Wife,

 

In the beginning, we ask Allah to shower you and your husband with His blessings. We take the opportunity to remind you with the following pieces of advice from Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) to ensure happiness of your household and continued love between you and your husband:

 

1- Contentment and satisfaction with little, so avoid driving your husband to means of illicit gains. Some women of the righteous predecessors used to tell their husbands when they were about to leave home: "Avoid illicit means of gain for we can endure hunger but can`t endure Hell fire!"

 

2- Wife must obey husband in that which is lawful, so eschew disobeying him, raising your voice when speaking to him, and complaining to your family about him. Al-Husayn Ibn Muhsan reported that his aunt came to the Prophet for a need, and when she finished, the Prophet asked her: "Do you have a husband?" She replied: "Yes." He said: "How do you treat him?” She replied: "I try to fulfill all his rights upon me unless I am unable to do so.” Thereupon, he  said: "Look to how you are with respect to him, for he is your Heaven or Hell (i.e. you will be admitted to Paradise or thrown into hell according to the way you treat him)." [Ahmad and Nasa`ei].

 

3- The right of husband upon wife takes precedence over the rights of all her relatives. In the event of conflict between these rights, give priority to the rights of your husband and you are cleared from liability before Allah. This is because, after Allah and His Messenger, the greatest rights upon wife are the husband`s. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered a woman to prostrate herself before her husband". [At-Tirmidhi graded it as a sound authentic narration, to stress the greatness of his right (The husband on her (The wife].

 

4- It is the right of husband upon wife that she preserves his wealth, so don`t take anything out of his house without his permission. Even if you want to give to charity, from his money, you must ask for his permission, and you will have the same reward as his. However, if you didn`t obtain his permission, then he will be rewarded for that charity, and you will be burdened for the sin.

 

5- Beware of evil female friends and neighbors who seek to sow discord between you and your husband. Such women could lead to the destruction of your family and make your husband hate you.

 

6- Endure the harm of your husband and deal with him wisely when he is in a state of anger for you will reap the fruit of this at the times he is pleased with you. You should bear in mind that pride and obstinacy aggravate problems between you and him, so shun these qualities out and save your family.

 

7- When your husband calls you to his bed, obey him unless you have a lawful excuse for not doing so. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and thus he spends the night angry with her, the angels continue cursing her till the morning." [Agreed upon].

 

8- It is forbidden to describe the details of a woman`s figure to your husband since the Prophet (PBUH) forbade such an act. As he (PBUH) said: "No woman should touch another woman's body and then describe the details of her figure to her husband in such a manner as if he was looking at her." {Agreed upon}.

 

 

 

Tips to Parents:

 

Dear parents, if you want your children to live happily, take the following pieces of advice into account:

 

1- When a man who doesn`t observe the obligatory prayers proposes to your daughter; turn him down because she is a trust with you. Therefore, it is your duty to choose for her the best husband in terms of righteousness and piety. Thus, the man who abandoned prayer is no match for her because abandoning prayer out of laziness is evil doing and out of denial is disbelief. This is because The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Between a man and disbelief and paganism is the abandonment of Salat (prayer)." [Moslim]. Moreover, Allah's Messenger (PBUH) said: "The covenant between us and them is prayer, so if anyone abandons it he has become an infidel." [Transmitted by Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Nissaee'i and Ibn Majah].

 

2- Interfering in your children`s private life may disturb it, so do that at the right time to make reconciliation and save family from breakdown.

 

3- Corrupting the relation between husband and wife is forbidden since The Prophet (PBUH) said: "He who makes a wife disaffected towards her husband or a slave towards his master is not one of us." [Abu Dawood].

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

What are the Sunnahs and etiquettes related to the slaughtering of an animal?

 

 
In the Name of Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
1-Avoid terrifying the animal before it is slaughtered.
 
2-Do not slaughter the animal in front of others of its kind.
 
3-Offer water to the animal before the sacrifice.
 
4-Sharpen the knife thoroughly prior to slaughtering to ensure the cut is made as quickly and cleanly as possible. This is in accordance with the statement of our Master, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "Indeed, Allah, the Almighty and Majestic, has prescribed excellence (Ihsan) in all things. So when you kill, kill well; and when you slaughter, slaughter well. Let each of you sharpen his blade, and let him put his sacrificial animal at ease." (Narrated by Muslim)
 
Do not begin skinning the carcass until you are absolutely certain that the animal has completely passed away.
 
Slaughter cattle, sheep, and goats while they are lying down on their left side, facing the Qiblah (direction of prayer). Leave the right leg untied so the animal can move it, helping it rest more easily during its final moments. For camels, however, the preferred method (Nahr) is to slaughter them while they are standing up, with their left knee tied. And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.

The Jurisprudential Significance of the Ḥadīth: "Whoever says, at the conclusion of the Fajr Prayer, while crossing his legs, before speaking..."
"Whoever says, at the conclusion of the Fajr prayer, while crossing his legs, before speaking: 'Lā ilāha illā Allāh, waḥdahu lā sharīka lah, lahu al-mulku wa lahu al-ḥamdu yuḥyī wa yumītu wa huwa ʿalā kulli shayʾin qadīr' ten times — ten good deeds will be recorded for him, ten bad deeds will be erased from him, he will be raised ten levels, he will spend that day in protection from everything disliked and guarded from the devil, and no sin will be able to befall him on that day except associating partners with Allah" — does this noble ḥadīth apply to the imam, and what is meant by "extraneous speech"?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is recommended for both the imam and those praying behind him to recite, immediately after the final salām, the specific remembrance reported in the sunnah to be said before turning away from one's place of prayer. The imam then leaves his praying spot, and the act of "turning" is fulfilled when the imam faces the congregation — even without physically leaving his spot — by positioning his right side toward them and his left side toward the qiblah, and this applies even while he is engaged in supplication.
Al-ʿAllāmah Ibn Qāsim al-ʿAbbādī states in his Ḥāshiyah ʿalā al-Tuḥfah (Vol.2/P.105): "It is most virtuous for the imam, once he has given the salām, to rise from his place of prayer immediately afterward." He adds that an exception must be made for the remembrances that are specifically required to be recited before he turns away. He then notes, citing Sharḥ al-ʿUbāb: "Yes, an exception to this rising immediately after the salām applies to the Fajr prayer, due to the authentic report that the Prophet ﷺ, when he prayed Fajr, would remain seated until the sun rose." He further cites, from al-Khādim, the ḥadīth concerning one who recites, at the conclusion of the Fajr prayer while still in the position of crossing his leg to rise: "Lā ilāha illā Allāh, waḥdahu lā sharīka lah..." and the rest of the well-known ḥadīth. He comments that this makes explicit that this particular remembrance is to be recited before the worshipper turns his legs to leave, and the same applies to Maghrib and ʿAṣr, as reported in those contexts as well.
What is meant by "speech" in the relevant ḥadīth is extraneous worldly speech that is not called for after the prayer and for which there is no legitimate excuse. The remembrances reported to be recited upon concluding the prayer, however, do not fall under this category of extraneous speech, since they are themselves required by the sharīʿah.
Al-ʿAllāmah ʿAlī al-Shabrāmalsī states in his Ḥāshiyah ʿalā al-Nihāyah (Vol.1/P.551): "If someone greets a person with salām while he is occupied with reciting this remembrance [i.e., 'Lā ilāha illā Allāh...'], should he return the greeting — without this causing him to forfeit the promised reward, since he is engaged in an obligatory matter — or should he delay returning the greeting until he finishes, this being a legitimate excuse for the delay?" He continues: "I say: the more likely view is the former, and the prohibition on speech is to be understood as applying to extraneous speech for which there is no legitimate excuse. Based on this, should the worshipper give precedence to this remembrance ('Lā ilāha illā Allāh...') or to reciting Sūrat al-Ikhlāṣ ('Qul huwa Allāhu aḥad')? This requires consideration, though it is not unlikely that the remembrance takes precedence, given that the Lawgiver urged hastening to it through his words 'while crossing his leg.' This is not considered ordinary speech, since it is not extraneous to what is required after the prayer."
Accordingly, it is recommended for both the imam and those praying behind him to recite this remembrance and to give it precedence over the other remembrances of the prayer, ensuring it is said before they move from their place. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the Sharia basis of the Udhiyah?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
The Sharia basis of the Udhiyah (sacrificial offering) is firmly established through the Quran, the Sunnah, and the Consensus (Ijma') of the Muslims:
1. Evidence from the Holy Quran
Allah the Exalted says {what means}: "And the camels and cattle We have appointed for you as among the symbols of Allah; for you therein is good." [Al-Hajj/36]. He also says {what means}: "So pray to your Lord and sacrifice [to Him alone]" [Al-Kawthar/2]. According to the most well-known scholarly interpretations of this verse, "prayer" refers to the Eid prayer, and "sacrifice" refers to the slaughtering of the Udhiyah.
2. Evidence from the Sunnah
Al-Bara' bin 'Azib (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said: "The first thing we start with on this day of ours is to pray, then we return and sacrifice. Whoever does that has followed our Sunnah, and whoever slaughters before [the prayer], it is merely meat he has provided for his family; it is not part of the ritual sacrifice in any way" [Reported by Bukhari & Muslim].
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: "The Prophet ﷺ sacrificed two white rams with horns. He slaughtered them with his own hand, mentioned the name of Allah (Tasmiyah), and said the Takbir" [Reported by Bukhari & Muslim].
3. Evidence from Scholarly Consensus (Ijma')
The Muslims have reached a unanimous consensus on the Sharia basis of the Udhiyah, and no one among the scholars has disagreed with this. [Al-Sherbini, Mughni al-Muhtaj, Vol.6/P.122].And Allah the Exalted knows best.

Is it a condition that a woman should untie her locks while making Ghusl (ritual bath)?

Ghusl from Janabah (ritual impurity), or menstruation obligates that water reaches the roots of the hair in order for the Ghusl to be valid, but if it doesn`t, then hair locks must be untied for water to reach them, and for Ghusl to become valid.

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