Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?

Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.

Is it permissible to go to the bathroom wearing a necklace that has the word "Allah" inscribed on it?

All Perfect Praie be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.

Anything that contains words pertaining to Allah, The Almighty, is desired to be left outside when going to the bathroom, or to be hidden for fear of losing it. And Allah Knows Best.

What is the ruling on a woman shaking hands with the brothers of her husband`s father, and not putting on Islamic wear before them?

The aforesaid are strangers to the their brother`s son`s wife, therefore, it is forbidden for her to take off her Islamic wear before them, or to shake hands with them.

How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?

Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.