What is the ruling on visiting a deceased's grave and supplicating Allah for him by his wife? Is the reward of reciting verses of the Holy Qur'an reaches the deceased?

The supplication: "O Allah, we do not ask You to avert the decree, but we ask You for kindness in it." Is this Supplication Halal or Haram?

We are obliged to supplicate Allah, so when supplicating we comply with Allah's Ordainments, and making supplications that are reported in the authentic texts is better. And Allah Knows Best. 

Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?

Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.

What is the ruling on the unification of Adhan?

 All perfect praise be to AllahThe Lord of The Worlds, and may His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The unified Adhan is an act of Sunnah performed on behalf of a city's population. In addition, any Masjid that doesn’t have a Mua'than (The person who calls for prayers) and doesn`t raise the Adhan misses the reward of this great act. This is because Adhan should be raised for every group of people. However, the unified Adhan should be called in one Masjid and heard through all other Masjids. And Allah Knows Best.