I have been married for five years. My husband has two sons from his first marriage. Nevertheless, I took care of his children, and gave birth to a baby boy who is now three years old. Unfortunately, we keep fighting all the time; sometimes over his two sons and sometimes over his family. If I serve his family members and praise them, he treats me kindly. If I don`t, he turns my life into living hell. What should I do?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.
Spouses should live with each other on a footing of kindness and equity. In your case, constructive dialogue is the best course of action. We advise you to be patient, commit your affair to Allah and ask Him to help you. We also recommend that you seek the help of the people of goodness and make them fix things between you and your husband. If all attempts for reconciliation fail then go to court, but we remind you that a problem, which could be solved with a beautiful word, is no problem at all, so praise family and children and try your best to win their hearts. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
Allah The Almighty Made marrying up to four women lawful, but human beings prohibit that with their own land laws. What is the position of Sharia on this?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
What Allah has made lawful, human beings can`t make it unlawful. However, taking the decision to marry up to four women requires material and physical abilities, in addition to having the courage to make such a decision. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it permissible for the guardian, or the father of the child to hit the latter in order to teach him/her good manners?
It is permissible for the guardian to hit his/her child for teaching them good manners once they become ten years old provided that it is done mildly, harmlessly and without intimidation. Actually, such punishment is to be employed gradually i.e. after: asking, warning, and scolding. As for the teacher, he isn`t allowed to hit the student unless the latter`s father approves of it, and it is done according to necessity without intimidation, or harm.
