Is it permissible for one to shake hands with his uncle`s daughter?
No, it isn`t because he is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to her.
Does the deceased hear the supplications or recitations of those visiting his/her grave? And does making constant supplications for the deceased who didn`t adhere to performing the prescribed prayers ameliorate his/her affliction?
Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.
In principle, the dead hear the living since it has been rigorously authenticated that the Prophet (PBUH) ordered the bodies of the idolaters slain in the Battle of Badr to be buried. He then approached them and called them one by one and said: "Have you found what your Lord promised to be true for we have found what our Lord promised us to be true." Umar asked him: "O messenger of God! Why do you speak to lifeless bodies?" The Prophet (PBUH) replied: "By the One Who has sent me with the truth! You do not hear my words better than they do except that they cannot respond." [Agreed upon].
However, not all the deceased are in the same situation because Allah The Almighty Knows: "Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up." [Al-Mu`minun/100]. Moreover, supplication reaches the deceased. And Allah Knows Best..
What is the torment of the grave?
We seek refuge in Allah from the torment of the grave. The important point is that the cause of the torment of the grave is disbelief or committing sins without repentance. It affects the soul, and the body is impacted by it, even if we do not see it. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for the father to give the Zakat of his money to his poor married son?
It is permissible for the father to give part of the Zakat to his poor son, if the latter was sound and healthy, because in this case the father isn't obliged to spend on his young son, even though; he is considered one of the Muslims poor. And Allah Knows Best.