Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?

The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.

Is it obligatory for a wife who has been abandoned for many years to observe the waiting period (iddah) after her husband passes away?

If her husband passes away, the wife is required to observe the waiting period (Iddah), even if he had abandoned her, because she is his wife and inherits from him, so she must observe the iddah after his death. And Allah Knows Best.

What is the ruling on smoking?

All Perfect Praise is due to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds

Smoking is forbidden (Haram) since it is harmful to one`s health as confirmed by trustful physicians, and Islam has forbidden taking anything that causes harm. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "There should be neither harm nor reciprocated harm." [Ibn Majah and Ahmad]. And Allah Knows Best.

I have mixed (halal and haram) money, and I want to purify it. My father is poor, and I want him, my mother, and my mother-in-law to perform Hajj, along with myself and my wife, as they need care due to their old age. Is it permissible to use this money for Hajj, or what should I do with it? Please advise.