What is the ruling on istinja' after urination, and is it done with water and soap or with water only?
Istinja' from urine and stool is obligatory. It is permissible to perform istinja' with water alone, or with toilet paper alone. The best way is with toilet paper then water. If one wishes to suffice with one of them, then water is better. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
What is the ruling on ablution without istinja' after sleep?
The sleep of one whose buttocks are not firmly seated on the ground invalidates ablution. Whoever wakes up and wants to pray must perform ablution only. Istinja' is not a condition for the validity of ablution, because it is for removing impurity from the private part. If there is no impurity on the private part, then istinja' is neither obligatory nor recommended. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for one to shake hands with his uncle`s daughter?
No, it isn`t because he is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to her.