Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

Article Number [ Previous | Next ]

Read for Author




Comments


Captcha


Warning: this window is not dedicated to receive religious questions, but to comment on topics published for the benefit of the site administrators—and not for publication. We are pleased to receive religious questions in the section "Send Your Question". So we apologize to readers for not answering any questions through this window of "Comments" for the sake of work organization. Thank you.




Summarized Fatawaa

How is the meat of the 'aqīqah to be distributed?

All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
If the 'aqīqah is a recommended one (mandūbah), it is obligatory to give some portion of it in charity to the poor — even if the amount is small — with the minimum being approximately half a kilogram of meat.
The most preferable manner of distribution is to divide it into three equal portions, as with the uḍḥiyyah:
 
One third for the guardian and his household to eat from
One third to be given in charity to the poor
One third to be gifted to friends and neighbours, even if they are wealthy
 
It is furthermore more preferable to send the food to the poor already cooked, rather than inviting them to come and eat. And Allah Almighty knows best.

Is an elderly or chronically ill person required to pay additional fidyah if they delay it beyond the first year?

An elderly person or someone permanently unable to fast must pay fidyah by feeding one needy person for each missed day.
However, if they delay paying fidyah beyond the first year, no additional fidyah is required.
This differs from someone who delays making up missed Ramadan fasts (qada) without a valid excuse until the next Ramadan begins—such a person is required to pay an additional fidyah for the delay.

What is the ruling of Islamic Law on one who died owing debts and left no wealth? Is it obligatory upon the heirs to settle these debts?

 

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
The general rule is that if a person dies owing rights to other people, such as debts, these are settled from his estate, if he left any wealth, before the estate is divided. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The believer's soul is suspended by his debt until it is settled for him.” Graded ḥasan by al-Tirmidhī. Repayment of debts takes precedence over the heirs’ right to inheritance.
If the deceased left no estate, or left wealth that was insufficient to cover his debts, it is not obligatory for the heirs to pay from their own wealth, but it is recommended for them to do so, because the deceased’s dhimmah (legal liability) remains occupied by the debt. It is reported in some narrations that he remains held in suspension until his debt is paid, and it is not part of filial righteousness for a child to leave his father’s dhimmah burdened with debt.
All of the children may contribute to settling the debt on behalf of their father and cooperate in doing so, even in installments, according to their ability. And Allah Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on reciting aloud (*jahr*) in a silent (*sirriyyah*) prayer?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
Reciting aloud (jahr) in the Fajr prayer, in the first two rakʿahs of Maghrib and ʿIshāʾ, and reciting silently (isrār) in the Dhuhr and ʿAṣr prayers is a sunnah. If the worshipper recites aloud where silence is prescribed, or the reverse, his prayer is valid, although it is better to follow the sunnah, in imitation of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Abū Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “In every prayer there is recitation. What the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) let us hear, we let you hear, and what he concealed from us, we conceal from you. If you add nothing to Umm al-Qurʾān (al-Fātiḥah), it suffices, and if you add to it, it is better.” Narrated by al-Bukhārī.
Shaykh al-Islām Imam al-Nawawī (may Allah have mercy on him) said in al-Majmūʿ (Vol.3/389): “The sunnah is to recite aloud in the two rakʿahs of Ṣubḥ (Fajr), Maghrib, and ʿIshāʾ, and in the Friday prayer, and to recite silently in Dhuhr, ʿAṣr, the third rakʿah of Maghrib, and the third and fourth of ʿIshāʾ. All of this is by the consensus of the Muslims, together with the mutually reinforcing authentic ḥadīths on the matter. This is the ruling for the imam. As for the individual worshipper (munfarid), it is sunnah for him to recite aloud according to us and according to the majority… If he recites aloud where silence is prescribed, or the reverse, his prayer is not invalidated, nor is there a prostration of forgetfulness (sujūd al-sahw) for it, but he has committed something disliked (makrūh).” And Allah Almighty knows best.