Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on bypassing a nearby mosque for a distant one?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
If a distant mosque has a larger congregation (Jama‘ah) while the congregation in the nearby mosque is smaller, and the congregation in the nearby mosque is not adversely affected by the worshiper's absence, then it is better for him to pray in the distant mosque with the larger congregation. However, if the congregation in the nearby mosque would be affected by his absence—such as if he is its Imam, or if his presence encourages others to attend—then praying in the nearby mosque is better. This ensures that the congregation is established in two different locations within the community. This is based on the saying of the Prophet ﷺ: 'A man's prayer offered with another man is purer than his prayer which he offers alone, and his prayer with two men is purer than his prayer with one and if they are more (in number), it is more beloved to Allah, the Mighty the Majestic' (Narrated by Ahmad, Abu Dawood, and An-Nasa'i). And Allah the Exalted knows best.

Is it permissible for a pious Muslim woman to stay with her husband who had quit praying out of laziness?

Quitting prayer is one of the major grave sins that come after disbelieving in Allah, but the wife of such a person isn`t considered divorced, rather, she should exert all her efforts in order to bring him back to the way of Islam. However, if his sin is likely to lure her from the way of Islam, then she had better separate from him by lawful means such as Mokhal`aa (When a wife pays a compensation for her husband in return for divorcing her). Moreover, if she exercises patience, and remains steadfast on her faith, then there is no harm in doing that.

What is the ruling on praying while wearing shoes?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.

There is no sin for a Muslim to perform prayer while wearing their sandals or shoes, provided they are free from any impurities (najasa). It was narrated that Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) was asked: 'Did the Prophet ﷺ pray in his sandals?' He replied: 'Yes.'" (Related by Al-Bukhari).

It is stated in Fath al-Bari (Vol.1/P.494) by Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him): "Regarding the phrase 'praying in his sandals,' Ibn Battal said: 'This is understood to apply as long as there is no impurity on them; furthermore, this is considered one of the legal concessions (rukhas)." And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on fasting?

Fasting in Ramadan is an individual obligation (Fard ‘Ayn) upon every mature, sane Muslim who is capable of fasting.
Fasting can also be recommended (Mustahabb), such as voluntary fasting on Mondays and Thursdays, fasting on the Day of Arafah for those not performing Hajj, and fasting on Ashura.
Fasting can be prohibited (Haram), such as fasting on the two Eid days, the Day of Doubt (Yawm al-Shakk), and the Days of Tashreeq.
Some types of fasting are disliked (Makruh), such as singling out Friday or Saturday for fasting without a specific reason and fasting on the Day of Arafah for a pilgrim.