Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

For some time I have been searching for a guiding shaykh to teach me the spiritual path (*sulūk*) and the Islamic sciences, but I have not found one. What should I do?

 

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
There is abundant good in this Ummah, and the scholars who guide and nurture are never cut off. The student of knowledge should strive in seeking them out, ask diligently after them, and draw from their learning.
As for one who cannot find a guiding and nurturing shaykh, he should send abundant prayers and peace upon our master the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), while keeping constantly to dhikr and worship and abstaining from the forbidden. For that will bring him to his goal in traveling toward Allah the Exalted. Imam Muḥammad al-Sanūsī (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “I have seen it said by some of the imams of Sufism that whoever lacks shaykhs of spiritual training (shuyūkh al-tarbiyah) should increase his invocation of blessings upon the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), for by it he will reach his goal.”
The scholar Aḥmad Zarrūq al-Mālikī (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Qawāʿid al-Taṣawwuf (p. 86), rule no. 114: “Dhikr is the decree of sainthood (manshūr al-wilāyah). Whoever is given dhikr has been given the decree. Our shaykh Abū al-ʿAbbās al-Ḥaḍramī (may Allah be pleased with him) said: ‘Keep constantly to dhikr and abundant blessings upon the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), for it is a ladder, an ascent, and a path to Allah the Exalted when the seeker does not meet a guiding shaykh.’” And Allah Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on someone who possesses cash reaching the niṣāb (minimum threshold liable for zakah), and then uses part of it to purchase gold before the ḥawl (lunar year) is complete — must he pay zakāh on all of it [combined], or only on the remaining cash, excluding the gold?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Gold acquired for hoarding and saving is subject to zakāh once it reaches the niṣāb (minimum threshold liable for Zakah) — when combined with any cash held — and once a full ḥawl (lunar year) has elapsed over it. The starting point for calculating this ḥawl is the ḥawl of the paper currency [used to purchase it], which had already reached the niṣāb and was then used to purchase the gold.
It is stated in Mughnī al-Muḥtāj (Vol.2/p.78): "As for someone who sells silver in exchange for gold, or vice versa, zakāh remains obligatory upon it, since he builds [the calculation of] its ḥawl upon [the ḥawl established at the time of] the original transaction [i.e., when the wealth was first acquired]."
This has already been explained in detail in Fatwa No. 2670 — please refer to it.
And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

My husband discloses all our marital disputes to his family. What is the ruling of Islamic Law on this?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is impermissible to divulge spousal secrets or expose one another's faults, whether during the subsistence of the marriage or after its dissolution. The foundational principle governing marital relations is that it is built upon confidentiality and mutual affection. Divulging marital secrets constitutes a breach of trust and a grave sin.
 
A husband ought not to resort to his family to complain about his wife over every dispute, nor is the reverse permissible for the wife, especially when such actions lead to stirring up malice and animosity between the spouses or between their respective families.
 
Islam has enjoined the preservation of secrets in general and commanded against revealing them; safeguarding the privacy of the home holds an even greater priority. And Allah Almighty knows best.

Is it permissible to authorize charitable organizations to perform the Udhiyah on one`s behalf?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is permissible to authorize charitable organizations to perform the sacrifice (Udhiyah) on one’s behalf. However, if these organizations undertake the slaughtering for a group of people, those in charge of the slaughtering must maintain lists of the names of those who authorized them. Furthermore, at the time of slaughter, the slaughterer must intend that the specific sacrifice is on behalf of a specific person. And Allah the Almighty knows best.